A
female
age
41-50,
*eriouslysimplegirl
writes: My bipolar bf went manic 6 months ago. Before that, he and I were so happy. We had planned a future together. Now he's a total stranger and he's so mean! He's like the worst parts of himself. When this episode began, he said he wanted help and wanted to get better. It just happened so fast and swept him away before we could get help. Now he denies it and blames me for everything... says I crawl in his head, make him have feelings, and drive him nuts. He needs a doctor, I wish I could just call 911. He's destroying his life. He's destroying my life. My compassion is being replaced by anger. I don't know what he's done, what he's capable of, or how long this will last. I just want him to be him again. I miss him so much. Is it naive to think he'll be himself again... that he'll want help again? That we'll be together again? Should I just give up or what do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Manya +, writes (11 August 2010):
HI! It's a little after your posting, but I have been thinking a lot about your problem and wanted to give a little input. I know you really love this man, and he, when he is his good self, makes you incredibly happy! But now you've come to the realization that he is a Jekyl-Hyde,
and even if he gets back to Jekyl (happy, giving, lovely), there is still Mr. Hyde (mean and nasty) who could show up and hurt you more! You are great to still stay with him, but I imagine that it is incredibly draining emotionally on you. Are you sure this is what you want for the long haul? It's possible that you are "too nice" for him, and so he blames you just because you are there. Please reconsider this relationship. Even with a doctor's help or medication, it may be that the balance of power in this relationship is not in your favor, and you will never be as happy as you used to be. I would think about maybe just being friends with this guy. just be your own self, and try to think of what is good for YOU. He may be bad for you as Dr. Hyde, and there you are. You have all my good wishes! Manya
A
male
reader, MAX D  +, writes (1 August 2010):
 what to do is the burning question,firstly you must ask your self how all of this is afecting your wellbeing. You said that his depression started about six months ago and it seams to have got progressively worse.Beening in a relationship with someone who is suffering from depression is not easy at all,as I have had a similar experance and I know how hard it can be,getting the blame for something which mabe had nothing to do with you at all.One thing that I did find a help,was reading a book about depression and how it afects differant people,it gave me a clear understanding of depression,it was able to answer questions for me,hope it will help you also.When a person suffers depression you loose the person that you once knew and loved,the one think you have to understand ,your partner,has either lost the will to get help or does not realise how bad he is,go and speak to your owne doctor and explain what is going on, and he or she will help you.What I would do is hang on in there and talk to your doctor,also rember to take time for your self too,Please let me know how things are working out and I hope Ieening some help to you take care Max D.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (1 August 2010):
 Always a difficult question, especially since the western medicine, the us leading the charge, has been galloping towards diagnosing EVERYONE with a mental disorder.
You can't just be a non-talker, that must be a disorder. You can't be happy, that is a disorder.
Maybe, just maybe your bf is a just an asshole? Assholes always have a honeymoon period. How else would they ever get a girl? Even women ain't stupid enough to start dating an asshole who starts out as an asshole. Well not many women... well some wouldn't... oh okay all would.
It is easy to think he has a disease which just needs a pill from a doctor. Easy for you, easy for him, easy for the medical profession wanting to get paid.
Does he really have a condition, as in something that can be cured or is this simply who he is? I can't say that but I have seen people use disorders as an excuse. And no, I am not just talking about your bf, you are using it as an excuse to.
Someone with a broken leg can't walk. But they can crawl. Is he trying at all? What part of border-line prevents you from seeking aid? None. For those who REALLY got it.
You got to decide for yourself what you are willing to put up with, but also WHAT exactly you are putting up with. Is this a temporary condition that is fixable AND being fixed. Or is this permanent?
You might just be longing back for the honeymoon period before you found out his true nature.
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