A
female
age
30-35,
*ullock5125
writes:Hi i've been dating my boyfriend for almost 5 months now. It's a very serious relationship and I love spending time with him. The first month we were dating we were together all the time doing everything, having fun. He has a friend who never goes home. I stay at my boyfriend's house a lot cause we're usually up pretty late and we plan to move in together anyway, but I feel as if I never have any private time with my boyfriend because Nick is always there. It's like I compete with him for my boyfriend's attention. When I say that Nick is always there I don't mean a few times a week, I mean he doesn't go home ever. He stays there at night and he's there all day. It seems the only private time I have with my boyfriend is when Nick goes to sleep and then my boyfriend's ready to sleep too. What do I do? I've tried talking to him but I don't think it's working. Please Help Reply to this Question
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reader, PoSiOnKiSS  +, writes (13 April 2007):
 hang on for a little while and lets just see if your boyfriend really did let it sink in a little about how serious you are and maybe he`ll have a tlak with nick himself. But if nothing happens or changes then i think you should talk to nick, even if he wont listen to you you can say you tried and take a step further with things by moving out and telling your bf he can have all the nick time he wants now and if he wants you he`ll know where to find you (parents or friends maybe?) then you`ll see if your bf is serious about you, he`ll come running.
good luck! x
A
female
reader, Bullock5125 +, writes (13 April 2007):
Bullock5125 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thank you guys for your help. To answer poisonkiss's question yes he goes everywhere with us. There is no private time even when we're in a different room he'll just walk in and start talking or he'll call my boyfriend out of the room or try to get hijm to do stuff. It's almost as if he's jealeous that me and my boyfriend are so close and so in love, like maybe he's in love with one of us so he's trying to keep us as far apart as he can. I'm not sure I just don't understand how he can butt into a relationship like this and think it's okay. As to your advice beanie0216 I have spoken privately and I've talked to him in front of Nick only to see if Nick would understand what I mean. A schedule wouldn't work because his friends and him always make plans at the last minute and that does bother me when he springs stuff on me like that kind of makes me feel ignored maybe. I have talked to him about everything you have mentioned I even told him that the only difference between Nick and my boyfriend was that I wasn't kissing Nick other then that it feels like we're dating. I talked to him about it the other night and I think he finally got that I was serious that we needed our private time and that Nick was driving me nuts. He saw that I was on the verge of breaking up with him because this has been going on for about 2 1/2 months and it was getting rediculous. Poisonkiss I understand what you mean when you say they probably feel like brothers but there not brothers and there is a line between friends and brothers and it seekms neither of them see that line. Friends hang out do guy things together but it's a little rediculous when a friendship is alomost borderline obsessive. Nick doesn't seem to realize that my boyfriend has me now and can't do all the things he used to do because there are someone else's feelings involved now. I don't know if I should talk to Nick or just let my boyfriend deal with it. What do you guys think?
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A
female
reader, beanie0216  +, writes (12 April 2007):
 Well that's not good. My best friend's bf is the same way he gambles a lot and he's always out with his boys. Not as bad as Nick but similar. The best suggestion I have is tell him you have to talk to him privatly. Tell him you love spending time with him and Nick, but you would like to see more just of him rather than both. Tell him you're going out with him not Nick too. Ask him to make a schedule if he has to, like which days Nick comes over and which days he doesn't so you guys have some alone time. Explain that whenever Nick gets sleepy so does he, and then you guys don't have any private time or alone time and thats what you need. Honey, if he doesn't agree to that, maybe you shouldn't go over by him and maybe he'll miss you a lot and then make the right decision. Good Luck. Any questions email me. :o)
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A
female
reader, PoSiOnKiSS +, writes (12 April 2007):
take him out somewhere, tell him you wanna go to the cinema, go for a walk, go for lunch and then spend as much time as you want with him then, and when you go home and nick is still there go in a different room. but i dont think it will work puttin your foot down and demanding him to go home, becoz the two guys are prolly like brothers so wont want to be split up coz of a little private time. but i do think you deserve some respect in this relationship so try and spend as much time out of the house as possible and not with nick. does nick go out with you though??
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