A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there... basically I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years now really very happy together got a real good honest relationship. I have an issue he is really cuddly, I on the other hand am not so much. I do enjoy a hug now and again but when in bed he tries to put his legs over mine, my issue is that I am always really warm, rarely cold, so I have to have my feet and legs out the covers otherwise I feel suffocated. He knows I get really warm but I feel really bad. I cuddle him, not a problem, but when he tries to cuddle me I get so warm and can't sleep. I sometimes get so snappy at him because i'm trying to sleep and I get too hot because he's got his legs over me or his arms over me. My nan did tell me that the only person I was close too was my mum and since she died i'm not sure if that's why I don't like people in my space? I'm not sure my nan said even as a child my mum was the only person i'd ever go to if anyone tried to kiss me or hug me i'd hide behind my mum.Could this be why I dislike my boyfriend cuddling me in the nights? Or do you think it's just because I am too warm. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Silius Sodimus  +, writes (22 January 2013):
I'm a guy and incredibly hot (literally and metaphorically) kidding! I also find it hard to get to sleep so I know exactly what you mean. Even when I cuddle my gf while sleeping we both can only go on for a short amount of time as it gets too hot and I find it hard to sleep, I def need space when I sleep, so I totally get you. I don't think it's due to past issues I think it's just your metabolism and body temperature and sleeping habit, I think just talk to him, not wanting to cuddle while sleeping is certainly not an indicator there is something wrong with you or the relationship, everyone is different.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys makes me feel so much better i seriously felt like i was being mean to him or that i was nasty because i am a light sleeper and like a few of you guys said i can't sleep like it i wake up feeling distressed and then i can't sleep and i'm then like ARGHHH!!
Thanks makes me feel 100% better :D
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 January 2013):
 I'm the same way.
Just tell him you will cuddle for a while, but you need some breathing room for sleeping. Let him know you just feel overheated and that it's not him at all.
I move around a lot when I sleep - hubby don't - so when he tries to cuddle in his sleep he actually wakes me up lol
You will find a way for the both of you to sleep well together.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (1 January 2013):
 Ohh, I have the exact same problem with my husband. I do NOT like being cuddled - it makes me feel completely smothered. I can cuddle him without issue - so that is our compromise. I generally cuddle him until he falls asleep, and then I can go to sleep without being smothered. I also got him some really nice pillows (including a body pillow) to prevent him cuddling me in his sleep. Now he just cuddles those.
I think that you can see... you're perfectly normal, my dear! There are plenty of non-cuddlers out there. Best of luck! :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2013): I am the same with my boyfriend, he's a bug cuddler in bed but he's like a radiator and it keeps me awake. Also, he doesnt stop moving and i have snapped too with the lack of sleep, the other night he had to go in the spare room i was just too warmJust tell your boyfriend to turn over the other way because you cant sleep, I'm sure he will be fine, he would rather you tell him than you have no sleep
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (31 December 2012):
 I suspect you're too warm and also feel a bit smothered? I don't think anyone can sleep when it feels like there an octopus all over you. Other people's limbs on you feel heavy as well as warm.
Maybe you could go to sleep holding hands or touching feet so he feels he has that connection and intimacy but you don't feel smothered.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012): I know exactly how you feel. I used to make a wall down the middle of the bed with the quilt to keep my girlfriends body away from me! I like to be cooler in bed and she was like a hot water bottle. If she cuddled up to me or just lay close to me I could feel the heat radiating off her, end result was that I couldn't sleep.All you can do is explain how you feel, but he may not be happy to hear it.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (31 December 2012):
 Too warm. I HATE being cuddled while I sleep. I cannot sleep. It's too hot for one, and every time he moves I wake up, yuck. I don't know any couples who cuddle while they sleep regularly. Sometimes I'll fall asleep there by accident, but I always wake up.
It's OK to just say "hey I like cuddling with you, but I just can't sleep while touching someone, it just keeps me awake. It's nothing against you."
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 December 2012):
 it's because you are warm.... trust me...
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