A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:It all started about two years ago. I had a huge crush on a boy 1 year older than me. He seemed like the perfect guy. He was nice, cute, funny, athletic, and smart. My really close friends all knew that I liked him, and thought we would make a cute couple.But, one my friend, who I wasnt so close to, kept nagging me to tell me who i like. I told her, and she said "Oh, thats so cute you two would be so cute together!" Then she said she would be my wingman, and she would try to get me and my crush together, and I was stupid another to believe her.Now here is a little background of this girl, she has dated A LOT of guys and usually changes who she likes every week.See, I told her who I liked at the end of April, and by the end of May they started dating!!! I trusted her and she just went and started dating him. I have kept all my anger to myself because I dont want to make a big deal about it, but it tears me apart everytime I see them together. They are still dating, and I just feel awkward whenever I am around them. And it gets worse, this summer she started spreading rumors about me. She told everyone that we were fighting and that I flipped her off! I am not that kind of person, and I would never do that at all!I am just really angry, and I feel like everyone is on her side. I just dont know what to do. I am not sure if I should tell her how I feel or anything. Any suggestions?
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female
reader, seekerhelp  +, writes (6 January 2011):
first, she wasn't your friend! If she really your friend, she will choose friendship instead of jumping herself and dating with him. don't cried over this two dumb people. The guy who know you like him, but he still dating with your so called friend.Their relationship wouldn't last long, believe it.
A
female
reader, ohbabycakesxx +, writes (6 January 2011):
Firstly, I want to say that you're friend is very immature for having to spread rumors, but being around your age, it's not very uncommon and the best way to deal with it is to drop her as a friend. It's okay to talk to her once in a while, but don't trust her. Secondly, I partially agree with the comment before me. You weren't in a relationship with the guy, so therefore she wasn't all in the wrong and did have "permission" to date him. It was your choice to not step up yourself but instead have HER do the work for you. You even said yourself she's dated "A LOT" of guys, so doesn't that tell you that she knows how to work what she's got? Knows how to act? You should have taken the initiative. Next time, don't let your friend do your work for you, otherwise you end up behind.
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A
female
reader, ifeellikebella +, writes (6 January 2011):
that wasn't fair that she did that. you should tell her that it hurt you and you were the one who liked him, so if she was your wingman, as a friend she should have wanted you to go out with him, not go out with him herself. tell her it's really not what friends do. i think you should not be friends with her anymore. also, though this may be hard, tell the guy you liked him (maybe emphasize the liked if you don't want him to know you still do) and she offered to help work things out between you two, and then she betrayed you. act as if you were complaining to him, and he might end the relationship with her and she could maybe get what she deserves... ; )
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A
male
reader, JustinNki +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Hahah, sounds like she just watched "mean girls" and it went to her head.I would confront her about it. Idk what to tell you, I'm sorry that your going thru that. I would just say don't hang out with her.
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A
female
reader, cat lady +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Oh no! The horrible school rumors! They're like the many-headed Hydra: cut off one head and another springs up to bite you. When this happens among adults, sometimes people get sued for it; slander and defamation of character, but with young ones, there's not much you can do. Since you are apparently not the same type as the one who injured you, I needn't caution you against retaliation in kind. Just ignore them both. Your school is full of boys; including those who don't listen to spiteful little girls with questionable morals.It's time you learned to defend yourself from this kind of thing. A line to remember: Discretion is the better part of valor. Or, as King Alfred said. "Tell your troubles to your saddle-horn and walk away with a smile." Trusting a schoolgirl that you're not especially close to with your private business is about the worst thing you can do to yourself at your age. Worldwide communication offers telegraph, telephone, television and tell a girlfriend!Spend a little more time liking yourself and those that you know care for you and less with people you don't know much about. Develop your own talents and excel in your education. Boyfriends come and go but your knowledge and skills will last you all your life. There may already be very nice boys around who were reluctant to try to get to know you because you seemed too wrapped up in just that one. Always keep your mind open to meet a new friend and through your life, you'll never be without one. Friendship is the only trustworthy and valid base for the relationships you choose in life.
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A
female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Hi,
It takes 2 people to start and end a relationship.
Therefore it is unfair to blame everything onto your friend.
Going by what you have said you were not even in a relationnship with this boy. Therefore he is free to date whomever he wants.
I am sure your friend started out as your wingman with genuine intentions but in trying to do so her feelings grew for him. It is not uncommon for this to happen.
He must like her too, remember it was a month after you mentioned liking him.
I know its hard, but you need to let this go. Your carrying on like you were in a full relationship with this boy he didnt even know you liked him.
Try to focus on getting a good education - this will help with your self confidence and also secure your future finacially.
I am sure there is a boy out there just waiting for a girl like you- one whom will love you for you and no other but it is not the right time now.
As for your friend - forgive her - maybe its for the best, perhaps this boy is not as good as you think - takes more than good looks to make a strong realtionship. Takes common interests, respect and trust.
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A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Well wait for them to break up and then you get with him. And stop worrying about what she does. She is unimportant. Telling her, if she is the type that i think she is will just lead to her telling others to make fun of you. Just let it go. She is not your friend. And your friends the ones that matter know the truth about you and her
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A
female
reader, Secretlife  +, writes (6 January 2011):
i think u should confront her about it. that was so wrong of her to do u like that.thats not right. i think you should tell her
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