A
female
age
30-35,
*ypsy Flor
writes:I just had a breakup with my boyfriend, he did some things that were hurtful, that I will forgive then forget who he is. He let two of his friends talk about me , his female friend said that I was fat, and one of his boys said that I was ugly. He's new to the country, and new to the school so he tried to see what it would be like to have a girlfriend because of those reasons, I feel that he pretended to like me. My beliefs are very strong, and I don't like people who put their health in danger. Talking about health, some of his friends smokes and it's possible that he smokes. Maybe they do other drugs too. I feel very angry right now. My mom thought that he liked me because of sex. So I did ask him. I asked him with a serious face, not smiling. He said oh and started smiling. Then I asked him why he like me, he said that I don't know, but I felt it was because he was shy. But I didn't take anything about it. But everything else does make me think about it. I fear that this break up means that he's a traitor and that he betrayed me. How should I seek closure?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): This boy is obviously not very mature or in tune with his own desires. He probably didn't betray you. He just doesn't know who he is yet. It sounds like he is trying to get approval from his friends and find a way to fit in to his new surroundings. The fact that you talked openly with him shows you have a strong and caring personality. You should just let go of this and write it off as a learning experience. Look for the guys who already know who they are and what they like. Then see if those things match up with who you are!
A
female
reader, Skeez  +, writes (12 June 2008):
 Heya hunni.
Im going through a very similar situation as you.
I was with my bf for 2 years and he never loved me throughout all of it. But anyways...you need to get yourself out with your friends. Keep yourself very very busy.
Getting a job will deffinetly help you if you dont have one. Ive started to hang out with my old friends and I feel a lot better than after the first few weeks we broke up.
But also..its ok to cry. If you have feelings blocked up inside you, let them out. even if your with your friends, tell them how you feel and let the tears fall. I find crying very helpful and after a while you should stop crying becuase you dont feel you need to anymore, or perhaps you will realise tht you dont want to cry over someone like that any longer.
The worst thing you can do is keep all your feelings locked in. You will dwell on it and perhaps just make things worse and danger your health.
Also..if things dont get any better in the next few months, then perhaps councelling should be your next option.
They do help you realise a few things and there good to just be there when you need to talk.
goodluck darling x x
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A
female
reader, justice_10 +, writes (12 June 2008):
stay focused get another guy get into something else exercise ya knowtake up a hobbie it will keep ya mind off of him hang with friends but what ever you do dont avoid him let him see youre happy with out him and ya know what your heart will tell you the rest ok..
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A
male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (12 June 2008):
 how long wereyou together? the longer you were together the harder it will be to get over him. iv learned that the easiest why for people to cover up feelings of love is with hate, im not saying this is a good thing but it happens. considering the way things ended and the fact that you feel betrayed, its likely that you will start to hate him as your mind starts to think about all the bad things about him. if he really was a bad boyfriend and did betray you then mabey you have the right to hate him, but it probably would be best just to try and close your mind off to him and not think about the things he did, both good and bad.
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