A
male
age
30-35,
*on1991
writes:Hello all.I am 23 years old and i just moved into a new city where i barely know anyone. So far it has been 4 months and I feel like my love life has been a bit slower. To be honest I know I am very shy when it comes to approaching women, but it seems like I don't know where to find them. Co-workers are pushing me to talk to random girls that we pass by but I feel like that tactic never works. Just to let you people know about me a little more, I have only been in one serious relationship and it was only for six months (it did not end well). I have two questions. First should I break my fear of talking to random women I see (part of me feels though my co-workers are instigating this with me so they can have a good laugh)? Second what is the best place to meet women? I know the typical answer would be a bar or club but I am perfectly content with going to a bar and just enjoying the company and and drinks. I am not one of those people who needs a to leave with someone.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (24 October 2012):
 All of abella's ideas are great - coffee shops, gyms, cooking classes (bound to be full of women and its cute to see a guy wanting to learn to cook), baking is very fashionable at the moment and will be full of girls closer to your own age so maybe try that, wine tasting, learning a new language....the opportunities are endless really!
Bars are the typical place to meet women, but taking a random girl home is pretty trashy so you can just talk to them at the bar, if you get on ask for her number and then arrange a date after that. A genuine nice girl wont want you to take her home after meeting in a bar anyway, girls much prefer it if you chat to her for a while, buy her a drink, build a bit of a connection then ask for her number, and text her later on to ask her on a date.
I dont think approaching random girls in the street is the right idea, that would creep most girls out and make her feel uncomfortable. Most people are on their way somewhere when they are walking down a street so interrupting them to chat them up would be annoying.
But if you saw a cute girl in a supermarket for example, smile at her and see if she smiles back. If she does, go over and chat, there is no harm in trying. You can meet people in all sorts of weird and wonderful places, you just have to be brave enough to smile and say hi!
And if you dont feel comfortable approaching girls in any situation, why not try online dating? You have the barrier of the internet between you so it makes it a lot easier, you can browse profiles and figure out what you are going to say before you press 'send' on that message. You also have the bonus of being able to find out a bit about each other without ever meeting face to face, so when you do eventually go on a date you have lots more to talk about because you have already built a connection with each other. I know online dating still has a bit of a stigma about it, and some people on there are just there to play games, but there also some genuine people on there who are just a bit shy and find it easier to get to know someone first before they go out on a date with them. Plus it alleviates the meeting people in bars situation, where often after a few drinks you dont make the best decision anyway, and it is so hard getting to know someone in a bar with loud music making it impossible to talk to each other properly!
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (24 October 2012):
 You can talk to random girls but it looks too desperate and will get you lots of knock-backs and very rude conmments from some girls. It is comfronting and doesn't always work. It's risky and you could end up having the Police say you are harassing the girls.
Random girls only really work if it is a girl you see regularly at shop or the gas station, your bank, or at the library or the convenience store. Better if you know at the outset that you have something in common with the girl.
Where do HOT girls go (I suspect these will be top of your list?)
and Where do girls with a brain go? Where do intelligent girls go? where do girls who can hold a conversation go?
1. Join a Mixed Gym that also hold Mixed classes for Circuit, Spin and Zumba,
If you can find a Personal trainer who takes outdoor Mixed classes for Aerobics and you can afford him then join that.
Hot girls like to look good so you will find then at the Gym and the Pool and outdoor events.
Ask them to join you for a coffee or even ask several of the them at the same time to come to the nearest coffee place after class for a de-brief.
Also Think Car racing events (because hot Girls are there looking for hot guys)
Some Hot girls are great on the inside and the outside. But some are not. it what is on the inside - her character - that really counts.
Where do other more interesting girls go?
They join a Cooking class - go enrol. Learn to cook great things - a Good skill which comes in handy when you want to cookd a girl a meal.
Find a local community course to learn another language - and that is fun. Join a class and learn and enjoy contact on a regular basis with some nice girls, Suggest a group date to celebrate the end of the course and invite who you want to join you at a local place.
Join a Service Club that is MIXED with a younger group of members like Rotary and get into activities that help the community. Smart interesting people and good opportunity to network. Don't forget nice guys have sisters.
Learn Public Speaking in a MIXED group. Great opportunity to see the same nice people on a regular basis. Ask a girl to join you for lunch from the class.
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