A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i think my best friends boyfriend keeps coming on to me! He will say things like, i wish she was more like you, i think your gorgeous, can i pop round and see you etc! They have been together for 3 years and they have a little boy together, i know they both have trust issues and constantly argue, so im not sure what to do...! Should i tell her knowing its my word against him or should i say nothing! I'm just not sure she will believe me and there's the little baby i need to think about! Help...??
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (11 July 2009):
 I think this is a tricky situation for you. She may not wish to believe you if you tell her how he is behaving, particularly given the lack of clear evidence. However, if he is being this 'friendly' with you, there are probably other ladies in his sight too. As a best mate you should stick up for her when he puts her down by making comparisons to you. By just passively accepting his flattery it is making you an accomplice - albeit unintentionally on your part. Don't encourage him by befriending him in case his intentions are to cheat - confine your contact with him to when you are seeing her and tell him clearly that you are not happy that he speaks to you in such a way. As for your bestfriend and her relationship, well it seems like that is already in trouble and therefore you may just have to wait it all out, and be there with a box of chocolates and a cup of tea when she eventually figures out that he is a waste of space on her own.
A
female
reader, babymama99  +, writes (10 July 2009):
 I had that situation once. My ex-best friend called me from her boyfriends house. When she left he dialed *69 on the phone (this will ring back the last number you called) and called me back. then he started trying to ask me out. I told him to forget it. I then called my friend and told her. I figured she should know that her boyfriend was a jerk. But she actually started making excuses for him. It kind of hurt our relationship.
Looking back, I probably wouldn't do it again. But I just wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I hadn't.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): tell her.
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A
female
reader, betty_black +, writes (10 July 2009):
 Tell him to bugger off. Telling her isnt going to do anything for her self esteem and trust issues, so unless he actually does anything, leave that one out. Stay away from him when shes not around.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 July 2009):
 You need to shut him down asap. He might "just" be paying you compliments because he likes you, it might be more.
Telling your friend is not going to help her relationship - not with her BF and not with you.
Tell him his compliments are wasted on you, he should compliment his GF.
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