A
female
age
36-40,
*ayla20
writes:I've been going out with my best friend's brother for a while now we live together and have a child on the way. My best friend has polycystic ovaries which has left her in a state on whether she can conceive or not, I recently helped her through breaking up with her partner as he didn't want children, this is all she cares aboutOne minute we'll be fine and the next she feels the need to start arguments with me for example on Facebook the last couple of days she has set her statuses aimed at me she wrote "get on with your little family" I assumed it was aimed at me as she has said this to me once before,however I ignored it.She then started asking me what she had done wrong I said "nothing, why would you think that" and she said it was obvious I had a problem with her. My status was "I'm am really happy today nothing on this earth can bring me down" therefore she assumed that was me trying to dig at her because I'm having a child and she isn't she thought I was trying to hurt her but I don't understand how that status could of had anything to do with what she thought. She always brings up the fact that I'm trying to hurt her as she cant have kids and I can. I had a little argument with her stating that its not all about her and she looks to far into things and I wouldn't want to her hurt and she needs to stop pushing people away and causing arguments with me for no reason as I feel I am walking on egg shells as I never know when she is going to chuck the baby thing back into my face.I generally believe its jealousy as she has said in the past she wished she had my life I tried to tell her that my life isn't perfect and although she has come out of a relationship and wants to try for children she needs to get her head straight before jumping into a relationship and trying to start a family as she is only 22. Can anyone give me any advice how to make things right between us or whether I'm going to keep getting these problems with her for the rest of our lives? Just anything that can possibly help me. I'm pregnant and really don't need the stress that she is putting me under. Should I encourage her to see a doctor or counsellor as everyone is saying she is in a bad place at the moment and is acting very strangely?p.s sorry for the essay but I couldn't find a shorter way to describe this
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female
reader, Sammycake +, writes (7 October 2009):
 Hm, I think you're on the money with your jealousy theory. I've never been a fan of online socialising - there are far too many mixed signals and you can never tell what tone the person is using. My advice is stay away from Facebook for a while and when the baby is born, try to get her involved in the proceedings i.e. let her come round for a few hours and look after him/her.
She's your best friend and you're in a relationship with her brother, are you sure she's not angry that her brother knows you better than she does? I imagine it's been just the two of you for a while, then you met her brother and so on. Try to see her more often, confide in her about what you're feeling about the pregnancy and tell her that you'd like her to be as involved as possible. You could ask your partner to back you up on this, because I can't imagine how much stress this is putting on your pregnancy.
If she STILL insists on being stubborn, then have a stern word with her and say that you don't want your child brought up around negativity. Try your hardest to get it sorted before s/he's born.
Good luck!
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