A
male
age
41-50,
*oretti7
writes:I was seeing this girl in work for a few months. She was 8 years younger than me. I'm 31 she's 23. I am divorced, no kids, was in a relationship for 9 years, split up early in 2008, we just drifted apart. It was for the best. Anyway I didn't really feel like dating again, saw a few girls but nothing special. Then just over a year later there was a girl in work who was always so nice, very shy and quiet, however she was very much overweight and lacked confidence but I really liked her personality and also thought she was really pretty. I invited her to a gig one night with my friends. She said yes and we had the best time ever, all my friends liked her but at this time I saw her as nothing more than a friend. She had been in a relationship for 3 years and split about 5 months, she had lived with this boy but he completely controlled her, she wasn't ever allowed out on work's do's or even to have a mobile phone. He ended up cheating on her, she took him back only for him to dump her again. Anyway we text and emailed for months and really got along great, about 3 months after the initial gig we went to a concert in another city together, nothing happened, I knew she liked me but still wasn't sure whether I wanted to commit. About a week later I took the plunge and we started dating. It was amazing we had the best 2 months ever, we would see each other every weekend, usually staying over her flat. We were always all over each other. The only thing bugging me was that her ex still called her all the time (she even still had a photo of him and her dad together on hol's in the living room!) After 2 months I said I didn't think she should see him on his own after what he had done. Everything changed then, I thought she was going to dump me. She said he was a great friend of her families (why if he was so bad?), and a great friend to her. I backed down, we dated again for another month but some nights when we weren't together she would say she's going to bed at about 8.30 and she will contact me in the morning. (We usually text all the time), also she would never answer his call when I was around and when I asked to be introduced to him and her friend's she said no way. I must point out that when I did spend a lot of time with her she was constantly getting texts from of the boys who she said were her friends. I was always cool with it.During the next month after the only argument we ever had she was always all over me when we met. However, after the month she started being off with me by text, when I confronted her numerous times she said she was fine and loved me, eventually she said she didn't have time for a relationship and wanted to be friends.Within about 10 mins she was texting me begging to be friends, I agreed but a lot of the time I was offish with her as I was protecting myself. A few days later she text saying she missed me and she loved me. I thought she was drunk so next morning I text her and she was cold, same thing happened at 2am a few nights later, text her the next morning but she was cold. She asked me out for a drink one night and I agreed, it wasn't good, she sat across the table, arms folded. We did this a couple times more, same thing, however she still text me calling me babes etc. One night we went on a work's night, I said I wasn't going but she insisted. I got there and she was totally off with me all night, some of her friends, girl and boy couple from outside work turned up at the end and she was even more colder then, even making out that I was chasing her it seemed. When she left I stupidly text her saying, not sure why she was off with me but I was really fond of her and 100% genuine all the time. She text me and phoned me that night but I didn't get back to her. Then in the middle of the night she text saying she needed a cuddle and we would be together soon. Met her the next day, cold again. We had a heart to heart by email later that week and she said she just wanted to be friends, I said I'm cool with that, tho it was killing me. We agreed to be really great friends. I went away with friends for a few days then and during that time she sent me a text saying she really, really loved me to bits. Said she had taken a day off work as she couldn't handle me not emailing. I was well chuffed. She was going out that night and very excited. Monday morning I had an email cancelling all our plans, even tho she kept saying we were best friends forever prior to this. I was devastated. She asked me how my trip was I said fine but haven't contacted her since. I think she got back with her ex or found someone else. I really loved this girl, I know she liked me too. I was a really good friend to her during and before the relationship I'm finding it harder than my marriage break up. Also find it even harder as I work with her and have to see her every day, people are starting to notice that I'm quiet and pre-occupied. I have to admit I was erratic during the split, nothing insulting, just sometimes saying I couldn't be friends but was fond of her. Did cancel our plans once which she hated but she did this about 5 times, saying she was tired or forgot we had made plans.I know she treated me badly in the end, I miss her tho. I just want the old confident me back!
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best friend, confidence, divorce, drunk, her ex, I work with, overweight, shy, split up, text Reply to this Question
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