A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my best friend slept with my boyfriend at the time they both say it was a mistake but they allways text and have been meeting up behind my back.i ended it with my boyfriend because i couldnt trust him. and i say... once a cheater always a cheater!!!but i dont know if i can forgive my friend... we have been friends for ages. she came and saw me when i was born. i love her to pieces but i cant believe she did this to me. what should i do ?? x
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 May 2009):
 Your call but I sure wouldn't view her as a friend any longer.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): to the OP- so if someone rapes for the first and only time then its ok- you just work on the relationship and forgive because the rape was only one? i know i am using "rape" as a bad example but you need to see the severity of your friends actions.
if you want or need to forgve her then go ahead, just know that YOU will be the fool WHEN it happens again. and believe me, it always does.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice :)
umm eyeswideopen the reason i want to forgive her is that we've been friends for a very long time and this is the first time she has done something wrong and everyone makes mistakes in there life... so i really want to forgive her but i dont see how i can ...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice :)
umm eyeswideopen the reason i want to forgive her is that we've been friends for a very long time and this is the first time she has done something wrong and everyone makes mistakes in there life... so i really want to forgive her but i dont see how i can ...
x
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 May 2009):
Why would you even WANT to keep her as friend?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): It was an awful thing for her to do and you should definatley make sure that she knows. She did a very bad thing and betrayed your trust. You definatley did the right thing with your boyfriend. In the long run you may have it in your heart to forgive her but don't let her in easily. She needs to pay for what she did and realise it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Your friend should have remembered, chicks before dicks.
Since she forgot this, you should forget her. Harsh but true.
She isnt your true friend if she would do that to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): forgive her? run far away from her. she had no respect for you. she never loved you and cared about your feelings. what she did was horrible and she crossed the line. there is no turning back with her.
why work on your relationship with her to regain trust. she broke it, her behaviour killed a bit of you. keep away from the trash. she will only hurt you again.
a mistake? nonsense. she and him knew exactly what they were doing. this was no mistake. and if given a chance she will do it again to you.
so best be rid of this scum in your life. chin up. your life is preciou & valuable. you have better hings in store for your life. just get rid of both from your life. they are not worth it.
you will be a fool to be friends with her again.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 May 2009):
 I'd let them both go. No friend would do this. No real boyfriend either.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): I was in the same position just a year ago. And honestly, i was unbelievably hurt by what both of them did and it took me a few months to really forgive her. If your friend is genuinely sorry and deeply regrets what she did, and is actually working hard to regain your trust and friendship back, it should be easier for you to forgive her. But if she is still carrying on whatever she has going with your ex behind your back that just shows that she doesn't really care about what she did to you, or how deeply she has hurt you. And i don't think anyone needs a friend like that; one who doesn't care about you or has any regards to your feelings. I am now friends with the 'best friend' who did this to me, but it took me a long time to forgive her. Nevertheless, I still don't have that trust or that respect for her anymore because what she did just made me see her in a different light.
It is purely your choice. Good luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Hmmm...Saw you when you were born? She must be a bit older, then, eh? I am wondering what she was thinking about. Not a good thing for a "friend" to do. I don't think I would be too forgiving on my own...Not unless she has asked you to forgive her and gave some kind of explanation. If she hasn't, it is not on you to forgive her.
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A
male
reader, Mr.Insignificant +, writes (13 May 2009):
 Ah man that sucks! My former best friend slept with my brother's girlfriend which as you know, is universally not cool!
I am not sure how women are but when it comes to men, the guilty friend is told that they have to tow the line on their own from now on. My brother & I were best friends with this guy for over 25 years but when he took what wasn't his, he was sent packing. That was 5+ years ago and I can't say that I have forgiven him; certainly haven't had any contact with him either.
With that said however, we are called to forgive 7 x77 times if necessary and to not let the sun go down on our anger. The two of you may need to shelve your friendship right now so that you may search your heart.
I wish you well. I pray that you fair better than I have in the forgiveness department.
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