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age
30-35,
*evilgirl434
writes:** none of the names are real** All are edited**This is going to seem rather long but i dont know how to make it any shorter. Please bare with me.About 10 months ago, i met Ashley. We didnt get along well and first but eventualy we got to be really really close friends. When she started dating, i was basicly ignored. She would invite me over to his place and i would go but it was really really awkward because they would always make out and i would be stuck sitting beside them like a sore thumb. So i started to hang out with her brother. We live in a really small town. So there arent many teens my age. We got to know each other really well and eventualy, we became more then just friends. How ever recently ashleys animosity towards me and jared being really really really good first has gotten really bad and this past weekend we got into a HUGE fight. I talked to her dad which made things worse. On tuesday, however, we didnt have school on monday, Jared ashley or ashley friend would talk to me at all. They yelled at me, called me names. I glared at jared, and his face went red, and he wouldnt look at me, looked down and away. On the bus ride home it was the same thing. Ashley nudges him to say things. or elbows him in the ribs till he says something. He wont look at me. On the bus before the fight on the week end however ashley would pound on him so bad, he would sometimes cry. What can be done? Idk what to do? i really dont want to loose Jared. Ive been shifted from place to place, foster home to foster home. Ive never become emotionaly attateched to someone besides him. Is there anything that can be done? Please help Reply to this Question
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reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (16 November 2009):
 Hi, okay then. It all comes down to what you want to happen between you and Ashley and you and Jared. Who is more important to you? All you can really do is try to talk to either of them, ignore them, wait for them to come to you or wait until you move again and leave the whole situation behind.
You say you can't talk to your foster parents, perhaps your case manager? A guidance counsellor? Trusted teacher at school? School nurse? Or perhaps you could phone a teen helpline, run by dedicated volunteers who understand your problem and are able to give you on the spot advice? AK.
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reader, Devilgirl434 +, writes (16 November 2009):
Devilgirl434 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont have other friends, like i said, im normaly not in a single place for more then 6 months or shorter
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reader, Devilgirl434 +, writes (16 November 2009):
Devilgirl434 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno i cant talk to the foster parents.
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reader, Another_Kapiti +, writes (15 November 2009):
I'm sorry things have been rough for you. Being a teenager is hard enough without having the additional set backs you've had! It sounds to me (have been in a very similar situation, dating a friends' brother) that there are underlying issues that having nothing to do with you as a person, more what you represent.
By this, I mean Ashley met you as a friend, so you were hers (and nothing to do with her family) and you were her sounding board, sharer of secrets etc. She might feel (however improbable) that you might spill her secrets to her brother or just that her time with you is split between Jared and her. That can be hard to take! Don't participate in the name calling, just ignore them for now and let them come to you, when tempers are running high, it's really easy to say things you don't mean, which you then can't take back.
I admire you for taking the initiative in asking for advice, you are doing the mature thing, however, have you talked to your foster parents (can you talk to them?)? You need someone on your side to get through this unscathed! Jared sounds like the submissive personality and Ashley the more dominant of the two, he's probably hoping she'll leave him alone so he can be with you but probably feels torn between his sister and his girlfriend!
Let things run its course, just let the names and insults run off your back, hang out with other friends, do things you enjoy so you aren't constantly thinking about the situation! Take time for you! Good luck AK.
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