A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I am in a bit of a muddle - not sure whether it is fate or love...I am 21 and have been married for 1 year and been with my wife for 6. She was the first love of my life, and I seriously have never taken my eyes off her!However, a girl at our dance class (mates with my wife and I now) started talking to me about 2 months ago and now I am totally besotted with her. We have not had sex or even kissed each other - the nearest it got was when I took her to a dance night alone (my wife suggested as she couldnt make it).We have such strong feelings for each other - and it keeps going round in my head. Did I marry too young, should I have waited, shall I leave my wife? I really really like this girl - I may even love her, she is in my mind 24/7.the only thing stopping me leaving is the amazing times I have had with my wife being the first love of my life - but now I am bored! She would be devestated if i left, (of course)I would really appreciate your help before I make a stupid decision.I know its not lust with this girl - it cant be. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, se24 +, writes (14 February 2007):
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (24 January 2007):
 Melschatbox is correct. What happens when the next attractive woman comes your way? Relationships are about so much more than attraction. You're so green with the one you have that you haven't let the glue harden yet.
Time, memories, dreams , kids etc are what build a relationship. Also your family ,your in laws, the entire picture. You've got to focus on your marriage. Since you've been together 7 years, it's time to start treating your wife like a new girlfrind again. Keep things fresh. If you feel bored now and don't work to change it, you're doomed.
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A
female
reader, melschatbox  +, writes (24 January 2007):
 Yep! It's lust. Take a deep breath and think back to how much you loved your wife until you took this girl to a dance??...No, that's not love and certainly not worth risking your marriage over. You best leave this girl alone. What you are feeling is a connection through chemistry. A physical connection. Sure, that's what you probably felt at first with your wife..but, if you think you are having these feelins because you got married to young, then when you leave your wife you'll still be 21! Sooo then what? Date this new girl until you get bored with her? NO SIR! Stick it out with your current wife..tell her you are feeling bored. She is your partner. You chose her...don't lose sight of that. Dance lessons together as a married couple..that will open so many romantic doors for the two of you. Love your wife...not this infatuation. Best of Luck.
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