A
female
age
41-50,
*istantshadow
writes:Is it bad to wish for things not to happen? I wish I had never met a man, so I wouldn't have been in position of being knocked up. Being a "single mom" was not in my plans. If my child screams, I scream. I have no support system. My child is with me 24/7. I feel sad when I'm alone in this child-raising and not having anyone to help me. I'm already pulling my hair, he's not 1 years old yet. Help!?! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): Don't say you don't wish you had a child , like seriously there so many women who want a child out there. and they can't have one ,you have a child and you should be very thnkfull that you have a child
A
female
reader, distantshadow +, writes (25 April 2011):
distantshadow is verified as being by the original poster of the question It supposedly type audism not autism.
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A
female
reader, distantshadow +, writes (16 April 2011):
distantshadow is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear female reader,Foster system?? Oh no!! That's too risky!! They're making it 50 times harder for someone like me to get child back. I know this. Someone informed me this because court looked at us like we are incapable of raising children because of the deafness. Child advocate is big on autism. I have to be extremely careful.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2011): I cannot even imagine how you are feeling right now. Is it possible for you to join a mothers group to try and get out of the house a bit, to begin to build a support network and to meet new people. It all sounds hard, iv moved to a new town recently and not knowing a single person is awful. Perhaps get in contact with the hospital where you had the baby and inquire about programs for new mothers. I wish you lived in Australia, they have excellent follow up maternity care and really look after the mothers well being. It does sound like you have post natal depression which is understandable considering your mental state before you had the baby. Ultimately though if you feel anger towards your child, hatred, violent feelings I would suggest that you consider the child's safety and place him into foster care until you feel well enough in yourself to take care of him properly. This isnt a sign of weakness but rather the maturity to recognise when things are too much to bear. Take care of yourself as well because your worth it.
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A
female
reader, distantshadow +, writes (13 April 2011):
distantshadow is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for given me an insights on this.
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (1 April 2011):
There are many factors that you are having to struggle against. You may be suffering pre or post natal depression which is biological. You may be suffering depression from not having any family or friends, not only to support you, but also to uplift you and share in your life. Humans need a community of people to be close to, we are group animals, and our current society does not always support that, many people can feel quite alienated from other people, and most of those who are have some form of depression which goes with their isolation. You are also up against a lack of support from the social system you find yourself living in. Having said all of that, you can still create a life worth living, a life that you decide to make better today than it was yesterday. If you can do that for enough days, in time, you will find life to go from unbearable to bearable, from bearable to coping, from coping to ok, from ok to a mix of good and bad days, from that to better, and eventually to good. Who knows, you might be able to go from good to great, and further, but we don't have to get carried away. Start with thinking about what it would take to make your life bearable, better than it is at the moment, and just work towards it, one foot in front of the other. You can succeed, and it doesn't have to take a lot to be happy, just enough. Remember, there are ways to get help, seek them out and try them until you find what works for you. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (1 April 2011):
 You can be stronger than depression. Keep going, once you realize this, you will see that nothing else can ever stop you from enjoying life, specifically, the precious life you have birthed.
God can take your hatred, there is a reason why you have not taken your life. It is not just because you have a child to raise, it is because you will realize something and you will cherish that revelation. Pray to God for guidance. It will not last forever, just keep persevering and you will get through this. I know you think it is easier said than done and yes, I admit it will be a difficult struggle but it is far from impossible. Just do not give up and try to smile again. Force yourself to just smile, make yourself happy, take your baby out for strolls on a sunny day. Immerse yourself in it and you will not be defeated.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, Orbiter  +, writes (1 April 2011):
No, it's not unusual or wrong to have those feelings when going through a hard time especially if you are depressed. No one can help what thoughts they have, it's whether they act on them that matters.I know someone who was in a similar position to yours, she found support groups and joining a nursery really helped. She made a number of friends there who all understood what it was like and it got her out the house. So perhaps you could try to find out if they have anything like that near you.
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A
female
reader, distantshadow +, writes (1 April 2011):
distantshadow is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWould it help that I was suicidal and depressed, just before I was pregnant? I did sought helps, treatments, nothing works. Most of the time, I hate when God purposely stop me from ending my life. As I stated in first post, I do not have and support system. No family or friends help me with my son.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (1 April 2011):
Just be strong and know that it gets better. Being a single mother has its torturous moments, same as any other situation life hands you but it also has its glorious rewards. Strive through it and it will get better. That is your son and he needs you.
Talk to someone, a friend, close family member if possible, someone who can help you express your troubles, someone who can help you deal with this and in a while, when your boy can talk and walk, when he no longer needs to be breast fed, you can get a baby sitter on occasion and try to meet people. Just be patient.
I hope that helps.
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