A
male
age
30-35,
*ansg
writes:i've been with my girlfriend for a year now and everything is going great apart from one thing, we hardly ever have sexim a 19 yr old man and feel i should be haveing sex more than once a fortnight, ive tried talking to her plenty of times but she just gets in a moods with me and says that all i want from our relationship is sex, but i just think it will make it complete. i kno naggin is such a turn off but we only have sex when shes in the mood, ive tried alot like romantic meals, bubble baths and little things like that which do sometimes work. the thing im asking for help with realy is how do i get her in the mood and how to i communicate with her without her thinking thats all i care about which it isnt, its jus the only thing i nag about because its the only thing wrong. as we live with our parents its hard to find time together on our own but when we do she just sleeps, i dont see how she is so tired because she doesnt work. i do love her but just cant seem to sort this problem out. any help would be grateful.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): Hey man,
I read you mentioned that she is always tired?
My GF or ex GF was always tired, because she was anemic. She finally went to the doctor and they told her that her iorn levels were extreamly low, so she is now fixing that.
Bottom line, due to the anemia (maybe some other factors) she nevr gets in the mood.. Could be worth checking out??
A
male
reader, dansg +, writes (2 September 2009):
dansg is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncheers for the advice, i have tried finding her a job but its hard with this recession thing. but ill take your advice on board. thanks again
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A
male
reader, Perspicacious +, writes (2 September 2009):
Libidos are funny things, they can go up and down depending on things that seem to have nothing to do with our relationships and partners.
If your girlfriend is not working, has nothing productive to do all day, and wants to sleep a lot it could be a sign that she is a little bit depressed which is a big libido killer.
If that is the case then the best thing you can do is talk to her about what she wants to do and encourage / help her to find a job, some voluntary work or maybe a course she would like to do.
The other thing to keep in mind is that if she feels you are doing all those things you mentioned "to get her in the mood" they are often going to have exactly the opposite effect. Stop trying to think about getting her to want sex, and concentrate instead on making her feel special and loved.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, AlexCM +, writes (2 September 2009):
listen, you'v tried talking to her but it has not worked? then maybe she just does not have a sex drive as high as yours. its perfectly normal.
you can not pressure her into sex as that will proberly drive her away. you need to try talking again. if that does not work the just let her open up as to why when and if she is ready. good luck x
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