A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:We have been together for 6 years I'm 24 now almost 25 and I'm ready to get married and have a baby. He wants a baby too but says I'm not ready to be a wife yet. He says I don't keep the house clean all the time and I'm supposed to be his best friend and he can't tell me everything. Now I think its bullshit what he's saying our house is clean he just helps its not all me like he wants it to be. I feel a woman shouldn't just clean and cook. It should go both ways. And I don't think that's a reason not to marry someone, he says he wants us to last and not have problems. he says it really bugs him that much. so should I change or does he have cold feet. I want more and I'm ready should I consider his feelings and listen?
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female
reader, Aylarsh  +, writes (13 July 2009):
 Looks like he doesn't appreciate you. Keeping a house clean and etc. is very hard work. After Six years he should want to commit to you, this is just plain bull shit. He is to comfortable, you need to leave him because he does not appreciate you. Go out and find a good man that will love you and make you his asap. Don't consider his feelings consider his, and listen to your heart.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 July 2009):
I call bullsh*t! You don't "keep the house clean enough?" Haha that's probably the sorriest excuse I've ever heard. What are you supposed to be, his slave? If he wants a cleaner house, then he can help make it that way, if he wants the house cleaner, then hire someone to clean it once a week or every other week.
I also think he's not ready to commit yet. After 6 years together, he should be able to tell you everything. For now, just back off the baby and marriage talk. If it's something you two often talk about, then drop it for a while and see what happens. He may start to wonder why you've suddenly dropped the idea. If he doesn't like the way you keep house, then that's his problem.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo answer the question we both have everything together finished college good familys both are ready for grandchildern, we had a long talk and I understand how important it is to him to make sure we have no issues prior to getting married. He said he wants to last divorce is not an option. And I should respect a man even wanting that cause ur right many people het married and don't even know each other or get married for all the wrong reasons.thanks for the advice and I think he is right I talked to my mom and his mom and they both think its me thinking to hard and wanting things my way. He wants these things but wants to plan it with me not me plan it for us.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (13 July 2009):
 I personally feel this is all smoke and he plain doesn't want to commit to you. After six years you know pretty much what you're going to get, and his feeling that he can't tell you everything is more "fault-finding" than reality. Instead of working on intimacy and opening up, he blames it on you and gets to enjoy the relationship without the commitment you desire.
There is a book called "He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships" by Stephen Carter that may help you understand your situation.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Libra1963 +, writes (12 July 2009):
 I feel you are putting pressure on him. Back off a bit aboutthe baby. He is not ready yet. Have you a career? Have you income that will support a baby? Have you a supportive family? Lot so couples are having babies much later in life. He is making it clear that he is not ready. Enjoy your youth. I did not have my first util I was 28 and my second at 31 and third at 38. You are still very young. There is no rush.
If you are struggling with housework - pay someone to help or speak to him.
Good Luck!
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