A
female
age
41-50,
*oRING214
writes:hey all!! Well my issue is that I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and he still hasnt proposed. He came to FL where I was living to train for work, that is where I met him, he was asked to help take over a family business in NH so he asked me to move with him. We were young and happy in love so I took the opportunity. I figured well he will eventually propose right.... I mean what is the rush. He knows that I feel by now I should have a ring and we have had deep talks about it. He says im his love of his life and that he promises to give me a ring one day....I really take his word and have stopped bringing the ring thing up. I have kinda given up and have it in my head he is not proposing... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (8 October 2009):
 Maybe he's not ready, or maybe his issue is centered more around money. It's difficult to know, because it could be a number of things. I know this is not something you'd like to hear, but there's a possibility he may never propose.
Unfortunately, marriage is in no way a fairytale, and sometimes life doesn't turn out the way we thought it might. Emotions get involved, and things get complicated. What you need to do is consider what being married means to you, as well as to him. Would you be getting married for the right reasons? This is a complicated situation, but do not by any means use an ultimatum to get the result you want. If you don't want to break up with him, you might have to make that sacrifice and wait longer than you'd like, or compromise and not get married at all. It all depends on how you feel about your current situation, whether you're happy together, if you'd like to stay together, etc.
A
female
reader, Sammycake  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 Proposing to the love of your life is a very scary thought, especially for the guy because every guy knows that women fantasise about the perfect proposal.
Perhaps he's just nervous and wants it to be absolutely perfect for both of you. I wouldn't get too het up about it, he obviously loves you and wants to be with you, but the right moment to take it to the next step just hasn't come along yet.
Be patient and you might just get your fairytale :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): I'm so sad for you. In the words of my relationship guru "you have a right to have aspirations (ie marriage) for your future and to know whether the relationsip you're in will bring you closer to them or be the demise of them." You should feel comfortable talking about marriage. You want to be a bride and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Mean time Whatshisname has taken half a decade to decide whether or not he thinks you're "The One" How much longer are you gonna spend auditioning for the part of his lucky wife, your heartbreaking, your childhood dreams of a white wedding vanishing... before you realise you deserve more... or your biological clock stops ticking....
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