A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:am 27 and i have been dating my 29 year old Indian boyfriend for 2 year. recently he proposed to me for marriage and i gladly accepted but his parents have said he cannot marry me because am black and am a christian yet he is Hindu. between him and i, we had clearly work out our differences and are willing and ready to live in peace with each other. now i just found out that am pregnant and i haven't told him because am worried that he might insist on an abortion. he still loves me but his parents are forcing him in to an arranged marriage. am so confused and i don't know wot to do but i want my baby and will never have an abortion. please give me ideas, help me save my baby
View related questions:
abortion, christian Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): Hi
Well, as an Indian Hindu,I can totally understand the parental pressure. It is weird how little Indian men stand up to their parents, in spite of the society being pro-male!!! It is infuriating. However, you have to tell him about your pregnancy... you cannot hide that fact. Although the Indians are notorious for their pig-headedness (when it comes to accepting an outsider) they are equally greedy for grandkids (especially if it is a son)!
Can you give up your religion (if it comes to that) and totally adjust to his family's lifestyle?
If at 29 your boyfriend cannot stand up to the parental pressure, I see some tough times ahead (esp from the in-laws) if you guys indeed got married.
Pressurizing your man isn't the solution, and PLEASE don't let anyone pressurize you into getting an abortion. It is no man's place to tell a woman what she must do with her kid and her uterus!!!
So... be ready for some tough times, stay strong and I hope you have a career, if the parents are totally unrelenting... in the mean time speak with a lawyer and check out the laws about child support and other financial issues!
I hope that you do get married, but best to prepare for the worst!!
LOVE :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): im an indian hindu myself and i can understand your situation ... it is very difficult for the family to accept someone from outside the community .. my sister is going thru the same thing right now.. it's emotionally draining for her .. but i guess your guy has to just stand by his decision .. don't put pressure on him .. tell him about the pregnancy but make it clear that you're ready to wait for him and just be supportive .. don't panic or let him panic about the situation .. good luck !
...............................
A
female
reader, Sammycake  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 I'm not totally clued up on Hinduism, or Christianity for that matter, but it's the 21st century for crying out loud. He shouldn't feel obliged to marry the woman that his parents pick out - he's found a woman that he loves, that's who he should marry.
You should tell him about the pregnancy and just hope that he supports your decision.
...............................
|
