A
female
age
41-50,
*ativazques
writes:I am very in love with my husband, we have been married 6 1/2 years.There is a big age difference between him and I, I am 28, he is 48. His son is older than me, he is 30.My husband was married to his 1st wife, this might sound bad but we meet when he was still married and we dated for 3 years before he filed for a divorce and married me.When we first started dating, he liked me but also it was because even though he had sex with his wife, only regular sex, it was borring and repetitive as he put it.I started to go out with him when I was 18, he was 38. I knew then he wanted no regular sex. So it all started with me giving him a lot of oral and anal sex. We where meeting like 5 days a week while dating, with sex every time.When I was 22, and he was 42 was when we got married. Everything has been perfect, he is an incredible husband. But the sex still continued with mostly oral and some anal.We have been together 10 years, married 6 1/2, we still have sex at least 5 times a week, but I am still a virgin.He has a son, we have decided not to have children.I am not complaining about my sex life, but I am wondering if this is an unusual situation. I can't be the only one.
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anal sex, divorce, sex life, still a virgin, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): If you're happy with this situation that is what matters most. I do predict because of your age that you will not remain happy with this situation for the long term however. You may decide that you want to have a child at some point and it may be too late then. You may also decide that you don't want your sex life with your husband to be completely defined by his needs and desires. I'm curious to know what his reasons are for only wanting anal/oral sex? Does he give you oral sex at all? I'm wondering if he's a closet gay.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (12 December 2011):
 Oh yes anonymous, thanks, I do remember you, (blames poor memory) and yes the aunts were very concerned about your situation. If I remember rightly, no penetration occurred and it was distressing you at the time... Thanks for coming back and helping this lady with her problem.. as you say, if she's happy with the situation, then there maybe no need to change it.However, sexually it may only fully satisfies one person, but their maybe other rewards as you have pointed out. Sex is only one part of a relationship. I'm sorry things didn't work out for you, but this type of situation can be seen as abusive, especially if one partner is unhappy and wants more.Stuff it.. there is no "normal", if your happy tativazques then don't worry about it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): I have been in this situation. Some aunts might remember me , I was a virgin for the four years I was with my partner- he would only let me do oral on him and that was about it. Like two three times a day, and sometimes some stimulation for me via his hands. So therefore, I know what it feels like to be a sexual active virgin.
Much like you I kept asking for vaginal sex, for years and he refused. I'm not sure why as he enjoyed it with other females. But with me, he wouldn't have vaginal sex until one day I threatened to leave. So he had vaginal sex with me (whilst he watched porn in the background) and the next day he broke up with me.
Like your husband my partner was 15 years older than me. I am not sure why, but he liked that I was a virgin and when that was gone, he was too. SO be careful what you ask for...if oral and anal are doing it for you, then just put it down to having a good relationship and dont question it. My partner was a wonderful partner, he was a good provider, loyal and just great company, and I pushed him into vaginal sex and he left. Please, think carefully before you act.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (11 December 2011):
Kids aint the issue, you can get yourself and your husband sterilized and that's the end of that problem.
DoubleM and FishDish have asked you some very important questions. Does your husband do oral to you, do you get orgasms through him touching or kissing you? Does he touch your vagina at all?
Sure you like giving him pleasure - that's not the issue. We are more concerned on what pleasure you get back. Strange that you didn't answer that, but were more interested in explaining why you don't want kids. You don't need to stay a virgin to avoid pregnancy.
Ok, you just wanted to know if anybody else lives like you.. again, no, I've never heard of such a case.. Your case is very unique..
* Files in DC Manual for future reference.....*
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A
female
reader, tativazques +, writes (10 December 2011):
tativazques is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe reason I posted this question was more to see if there where other's in the same situation.I have already brought up the vaginal question many times, but I gave up asking years ago because there was no interest what so ever.The sex is very good, I enjoy giving him oral and have found anal to be very stimulating and orgasmic sometimes.I knew from long ago, even before my husband and I got together that I did not want children for many reasons:Look at kids today, and how much trouble they have in an overpopulated planed. 7 Billion people is a lot, no signs of slowing down, at this rate if I had a child, he would have to compete with 8 or 9 Billion people in this planet. Not going to bring a child to this planet to suffer.Another reason, I am an Atheist, I don't have the religious pressure where I must have children when I get married. Know already too many of my religious friends who had children because they where told by their faith that they where supposed to once married, not because they themselves wanted to
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (10 December 2011):
Very, very strange..... I've never heard anything like this before.
And very unfair, to you, does he want you to die a virgin?
Are you sure your husband isn't gay or homosexual, that's the only reason I can think of to behave like this.
He doesn't want kids - Hasn't he heard of contraception?... It's all very strange, and I've got no advice to give you, since your happy with your sex life with him.
Any other woman posting this story, I would tell her, I think that this is abusive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2011): I think this situation is crazy. Do you want to go through the rest of your life never having vaginal sex or any sexual enjoyment that way? Do you not want to have children ever? I think your husband is horrible- he is taking advantage of you partly due to you being so young/naive when you met him. Get divorced and find a man who really loves you and who doesn't want to use you for what he wants sexually.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 December 2011):
 What you describe is certainly "out-of-the-ordinary," in my opinion. BUT, what difference does MINE (or anyone else's) opinion matter if you and your hubby are happy?????
I DO suspect that you've posted this because you sought validation that you could/should insist on vaginal sex for your preference..... If so, then you and hubby need to sit down of a long and in-depth discussion of why he is not meeting those (YOUR) sexual needs....
Good luck.....
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (10 December 2011):
 Well it sounds like he found someone, you, who would give him blow jobs several times a week, and allow some anal, both of which are apparently his favorites. Nice deal for him.
The question is this: Does he reciprocate with oral to please you? Do you enjoy orgasms in any way from sex with him? If so, then at least you have satisfaction. If not, then there are some possible descriptions for this situation you may not want to hear.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (10 December 2011):
 I find that incredibly weird. Have you ever expressed your own interests in your sex life ie. suggested having vaginal sex? I guess I find it weird because I consider these acts more of domination/submission than intimacy, this is completely subjective...but I do think the entire avoidance of the vagina is disturbing. does he ever finger you? does he play with your clit? or is it all about his pleasure? I think you should suggest adding vaginal sex to your repetoire...it will be something a little more mutually enjoyable!
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