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anonymous
writes: Hi! I think I still have feelings for my ex-boyfriend, even though we broke up about a year ago. We have been friends for the past 6 months or so, but now he is moving at the end of the summer. I want to call him and ask him to do something so we could catch up on things and in case it is the last time I see him before he leaves. Is this a good idea? Also, what should I suggest us doing?Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): i think you should leave ex alone because he not interest you that way
A
reader, communicatrix +, writes (18 June 2005):
 What do you imagine coming out of this potential meetup? A surprise mutual declaration of the secret love you've each been holding? A mad, passionate last-minute reconciliation, followed by the resumption of your love affair, either locally (with him wondering how he ever could have thought of leaving you) or long-distance (with teary-eyed promises of weekend visits, prolific letter-writing and long, late-night phone calls?)
Or maybe you're just looking for nooky—for a bout of fabulous, one-last-time-for-old-times'-sake sex?
You see, you neglected to say what you wanted to *do* with those old feelings. If you have come to the realization that he is The One and you want to throw what we Yanks call a Hail Mary pass on the fourth down of the fourth quarter, well, hell, girl—go for it! But "I think I still have feelings" doesn't exactly have the ring of conviction, much less passion.
Be merciless with yourself. Ferret out the truth. Ask yourself "why now?"—why am I finally (maybe) feeling these feelings now, instead of before he told me he's going to be unavailable for the foreseeable future. Review why you two broke up in the first place, and ask yourself what's changed.
Ask yourself what you want from this guy now that you didn't want a year ago, and whether it's something you really want from him or something you can get from someone else or maybe even yourself. Once you're clearer about your feelings, it'll be easy (or easier, anyway) to figure out what you need to do next.
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