A
male
age
51-59,
*orking man
writes:I feel like it is time to get out. I have been married for 11 yrs. with 2 kids.(Whom I love dearly) We have had marrital problems in the past do to my actions. 8yrs later, I still get comments like-where have you been, your girlfriends?why are you calling me--so you know when to get her out? etc.I feel the loss of respect from her and her family, but at the same time I know my paerents know I'm not happy.There has only been 1 divorce on both sides of our families.This kind of home life makes me look for someone to talk to and it usually ends up being a woman because they listen. I know it is wrong but I've seen a woman from work twice since new yrs. She feels very bad for me and has offered me large sums of cash (pay off my truck and bike and x ammount of cash) to help me out and get on my feet,stay woman-free for three yrs. and she would be there for me.There is much more to this, but this is the blunt view of the situation. WHAT TO DO?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, melschatbox +, writes (17 January 2007):
 Okay..you incenuate you have been unfaithful with your wife in the past. You and she have never truly healed from this experience. Nor, has she forgiven you. If one partner is unfaithful, I would imagine it is near impossible to get feelings of trust back. But, you obviously don't go out of your way to help her feel secure in your relationship. Shame on you. Turning to others for support and comfort and ego stroking is always much easier than dealing with the problem you have before you. The question here is DO YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE? and DO YOU REALLY WANT IT TO WORK? ..If those answers are no..then get out. You are doing any of your family members any favor by staying. Especially the children that you are setting an example for. They are thinking.."so this is what marriage is all about"... Be a better role model than that..Good Luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Can you and your wife not talk!? Get to the bottom of all of this. She sounds as fed up as you, just sit down and hear her side of the situation. I bet you can salvage something from this. AND don't become a ponse! If this other woman does pay off your bills then you are as good as a male prostitute, living off some woman. Come on you are better than that. Get your head together with your wife, pay off your own bills and stop confiding in this woman. She will be there for you after 3 years, i bet she will, waiting for the money and the interest!!!
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (16 January 2007):
 It's my personal opinion that when there are kids involved in a marriage then every last thing must be done to save that marriage before you even consider divorce. You should try rediscovering your romance with your wife or going to counselling. Don't give up easily for the sake of your kids, please.
CD
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A
female
reader, DearDolly +, writes (16 January 2007):
 It sounds as if the trust your wife should have for you is non-existant which is exceptable and is probably the main reason why she is making comments about your whereabouts. Try talking to her and tell her that her comments are pushing you away, But if your unhappy in a relationship then don't stick around.
Good luck.
Dolly.
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