A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I think about having sex with another man but ive been in a relationship for almost 6 years is that normal? Its not like I don't love my Husband I just want to feel new dick with no strings.
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female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 Eyeswide, it's stapled.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): I'm curious to know: is it one specific, particular man you have in mind? Or is it just a general urge to screw a sexy stranger for the forbidden thrill? And: is your husband satisfying you sexually, or are you just being greedy?
The question you asked is: is it normal to lust for other people? And the answer is, of course it is. But if you're asking 'is it OK to cheat?' we can't possibly answer that. That's between you and your husband. The point is: how would your husband feel about it?
Most likely, if he's like most guys, the idea would make him feel sick to the pit of his stomach, hurt beyond belief and would be his worst nightmare. If that's the case, you know it's WRONG to act on these urges and you should do everything in your power to resist them. Obviously you can't stop the fantasies, as Tisha points out it's totally normal to fantasise about having sex with other men. But you'll need to keep it a fantasy, maybe pleasure yourself thinking about it on occasion and leave it at that, or use the idea to spice up sex with your husband, BRIEFLY pretend he's someone else to get the juices flowing, and maybe the sex will suddenly become much more exciting and as a spin-off you and him will feel much closer and re-ignite the passion and you'll realise you don't really need anyone else.
The other possibility is that your husband might be absolutely 100% fine with the idea, but VERY FEW men would be. Or more likely, there's a grey area whereby the idea of you having sex with another man horrifies him and makes him insanely jealous on one level, but also really turns him on. You could test the waters by subtly sounding out how he feels about it. Like, while you're being intimate, maybe casually mention that you've been 'thinking' about this gorgeous hot guy you saw in the gym, and see how your husband reacts. If he turns rock-hard at the idea and explodes in your hand, you've got a fair idea that he's open to the possibilities. If he goes nuts and seems angry, you can dismiss it as a joke, stress that you love him and would never physically cheat on him.
Tread very carefully and be considerate of your husband's feelings. Hope it all works out for you
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 April 2010):
 a dick with no strings...is it self adhesive?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 April 2010):
 Hey, before we pound on the poster, may I just point out that she said she's just feeling this way? She didn't say she was out hunting for a quickie with a stranger.
I think it's perfectly normal to fantasize about other men. The question is why you're feeling this way. Maybe things have gotten boring and you're both complacent. If you're the one who's bored, it's up to you to change things up. Explore your fantasy with your husband by role-playing. Maybe go out to a bar, pretend you're strangers, let him pick you up and go from there.
The big thing is that you don't act on these feelings. You recognize them, acknowledge them, examine them and figure out what to do with them. Don't cheat, as that will get you nothing but an STD and a severely traumatized relationship with your husband, which is probably not what you're going for.
Fantasy, fine. Trying to turn it into reality, um, not so fine. But you know that already.
So for what it's worth, I think it's normal to feel the way you do. Acting on those feelings takes you to a different level.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (28 April 2010):
 How would you feel if your husband wanted to have sex with another woman?
If you wouldn't like it or feel jealous, then you'd be a hypocrite and probably shouldn't be married.
If you'd be ok with your husband wanting that, then you could consider bringing up the possibility of an open marriage to your husband. It's not exactly my cup of tea, but there are some couples out there that truly love eachother and want to be together but feel the desire to have sex outside of their marriage. As long as both are on the same page and you are completely honest with eachother in an open marriage it could potentially work.
Keep in mind, if you would want to bring it up to your husband, you better be darn sure he'd at least be open to such an idea. Otherwise, him hearing you want to have sex with another man could be devastating to him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): Ask him about swinging. My wife and I married young and decided we wanted to feel what sex was like with different people and we love it. Plus its fun watching each other with different people. better than cheating and heartbreak. If he says no u have 3 options. cheat and break the heart of someone u love, remainfaithful, or leave. Dont cheat!
hope this helps
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 April 2010):
So you don't really love your husband at all. If you did, you wouldn't realistically be feeling this way. So now make a decision. Do you want to end your marriage and move on, or work your marriage out. Whatever you do, don't cheat, because you'll lose everything and have your reputation left in the gutter.
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