A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a long distance relationship for three years (we're talking 8000 miles), seeing each other every couple of months, and lived with my girlfirend for a year before that. She wants to quit her promising job and move to England very soon to give things a go. I love her very much, am very excited but feeling the pressure... I feel if it doesn't work out she would have sacrificed so much, and I'm not sure she is the one yet as we haven't lived together long enough.Should I break it off now and not take the risk.. or go for it and not look back?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007): To those who posted - thanks so much for your advice.It's true one of my fears is how sudden a lifestyle change it will be once she's over here. Even though I believe it will be a change for the better... there's no gradual change with a long distance relationship.I guess we both just have to be positive as much as possible and try our hardest not too let the scary aspects get the better of us... after all we both love each other so much and that is the most important thing.Any advice on staying positive? I know she needs me to be strong and determined when she arrives... I am in my heart, but my head sometimes gets in a spin...
A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (1 April 2007):
 Life is full of risk taking opportunities. How will you know if she is or isnt the one unless you give it a go?
She is prepared to make the big sacrifice of giving up her job and life whereever she is. She obviously thinks you stand a chance otherwise she wouldnt make such a big sacrifice.
Perhaps she has the same reservation/dilema as you? You should perhaps get her to come over one last time before she makes this big move and discuss your feelings on this matter. Explain to her that you want to give it a go, but are unsure about what will happen if things dont work out. What will her plans be? Move back home, or stay in the UK and find somewhere else to live?
If you are even thinking about moving in together, you should be completely honest with each other. Its a BIG step for you and an even BIGGER one for her!
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (1 April 2007):
 You should go for it and not look back.
She loves you and you love her very much.
Long distance relationship for three years ain't enough for you to learn her better?
You are feeling the pressure now as your current way of life will change with her being closer.
She wants to quit her promising job, because she understood that making career is a pursuit of mirage.
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