A
female
age
41-50,
*ew2Love
writes:So, for the first time in my life, I feel I have found what I am looking for. I had been single for about a year and spent so much time focusing on myself. I had finally learned that before I could have a good relationship with anyone else, I had to have an even better relationship with myself. You see, I have been married, then was in two additional unhealthy relationships. That is why I decided I needed time for me. Then one day, at a dinner with my friends, I met the most adorable guy. I was so surprised to meet him and super excited when I realized he was interested in me too. Our first "date" was more of a "let's hang out" ordeal but it went so well that now we've been dating for three months. Now, I know that's not a long time. However, because for the first time I am dating someone who is so amazing, caring, respectful in so many ways, I don't know what to do with myself. I find myself being worried about the little steps we take or have not taken. I keep telling myself not to worry and to go with the flow...for the first time in my life not to over think everything. I feel that this one is a keeper and I don't want to mess anything up. So, here is my question: Does anyone have any advice for better communication? You see, I know our relationship is fresh and things are growing but I can't help but worry about the fact that he says he misses me yet we only get to see each other once a week and we don't talk on the phone. He text me adorable messages during the week but I feel like that's not enough. How can our relationship grow that way? I know maybe I am worrying because he is 4 years younger and may not be as ready for things as I am. But then again, I am not in a hurry either. For the first time in my life I am traveling and truly enjoying my house, career, car and family (parents/sister/niece). I try to remind myself of the good qualities he has and the ways he has shown me he cares... like introducing me to his father and that side of the family. Is it just because I feel like I've never been in this position...where the person I'm with is not a complete jerk or has other "issues" that have ruined my past relationships? As you can see, I am totally confused and have so many things going through my head...any help or advise would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): Your situation somewhat parrallels mine..however..I think the difference between your and my situation is that you are either in a committed relationship with your partner..or..you are wanting a committed relationship with your partner..WHEREAS with my situation I am not in a relationship with the person I've been actively dating for the past three months nor am I currently desiring a commitment with the person I've been dating for the past three months. What I just presented might be confusing to you providing I described my relationship status with the other party as "dating."...Well, in my application of such term I do so in the traditional sense, where dating is a time period where two individuals spend time learning one another and enjoying one another with the goal of building a deeply meaningful loving friendship manifested of substance which will serve as the roots/foundation of an enduring rerlationship commitment should the friendship meet that crossroad, and in the event that it does, both parties are pleased..AND..in the event that it does not, both parties are pleased because they share a deeply meaningful loving friendship.
Now as far as answering your question, I know it would be most constructive to address your concern as suggested by the party who replied to your query prior to myself. Most importantly, whatever route you decide upon keep in mind that you will sometimes "think" that rushing to Relationship Drive is the answer..BUT..is that what you really want? Do you want to dive directly into the quicksand hole only to realize you're miserably stuck, because you didn't take the time before diving to discover the way out..OR..do you want to slowly journey toward the pit of the quicksand to determine if you can live happily with what lies deep within it and if you find along your slow journey that the road has become intolerable for you to even consider traveling deeper than you at least know the route back home. Follow me? One of the leading factors of heartache is wreckless driving...Geico is made wealthy by those who opt the former. ..Good Luck Sweetie~
A
female
reader, aroura +, writes (24 October 2010):
do you read? ever heard of "men are from mars women are from venus"? it will help!! otherwise just do it!! communicate!! when you want to talk to someone, sit down with them face to face and talk. just be honest and hopefully they will too. it is not always easy but it is a good thing. don't talk at them, talk with them. communication is key to any relationship
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