A
male
age
41-50,
*obbsey76
writes:Oh dear, I text-killed my date! So I meet this girl through Internet dating, we text for a few weeks then decide to meet up. We get on so well, she even says people would find it hard to believe. Eventually she asks me to kiss her and we're kissing for like an hour or more. All of a sudden she freaks out about not wanting to be in a relationship. I don't know how to respond because 1) we've only just met and 2) why is she on Internet dating? So I say I don't understand what she means by a relationship, like dating other people or something? I tell her I've no problem with it I just don't date multiple people. Well for the next hour she won't stop talking about it, making comments about no strings and no pressure and I've got no idea what's going on because I didn't say a thing other than if she wanted to go on a few more dates to see how things pan out. Well the next day I text her to try and explain things to her and tell her she needn't freak out. She says she just wants to be friends and I should lay off the texts because it's too full on (don't text essays trying to clear things up people!) and I say that's fine, and she can just let me know when she wants to go out for a coffee or something low key. 2 seconds later I get a reply saying "no way, you're taking me out this wednesday for dinner at this 5 star sushi restaurant I want to go to". Woah. Umm I am? Well at first I agree but later in the day I realize I can't afford it and ask if we can go the week after. No reply. So I emailed her and said I'm walking away from this because it's gotten too weird... Then I email her again because I don't want to walk away and instead need time to get my headspace back because wow did that night do a number on us both! So where to go from here? Should I can it and move on, or try to patch things up with her?
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (8 February 2011):
 She's got some nerve after raising all that fuss about you making too much of a big deal and then turns around and demands you take her out for an expensive dinner!
You sent her two emails, now its best to wait and see what she says - if she responds. If so, don't agree to her demand - if she still insists - on the sushi restaurant - UNLESS she's willing to pay her share, that is, and you can afford yours!
If she won't cooperate, I'd let it go.....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): Move on.
She sounds like a real case.
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A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1 +, writes (8 February 2011):
Leave it alone. She is controlling and trying to run you. You seem weak..you may not be...but that is definitely how you are coming across to her. So..do not contact her again and ignore her if she contacts you. How dare she demand you take her to a 5 star resaurant. Forget her completely.
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