A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Basically I'm in love with my best friend. And I need some help getting over it, because if i don't I'm in danger of sabotaging our friendship.I should say straight up that this guy is totally decent - I'm not trying to rant about how I've been led on. That is definitly not the case. He knows how I feel and has done the best he could. He's never done anything other than be a really good friend. Yeah there was a point where we would get drunk and make out but that was months ago. We are incredibly close - we hang out everyday and we're texting all the time. After my brother passed away he really took care of me. I don't want to lose him. The problem is that while in my head I can accept that he doesn't feel the same way, i keep looking for something else and convincing myself that there is something there. I'm questioning everything he does for 'signs' and getting clingy. He doesn't have a girlfriend (or anyone else trying to be) but even the thought of it brings a lump to my throat. I started to think that maybe that was the way out - if he hooked up or started dating someone I'd finally get it through my head, even though it would hurt like hell. I tried setting him up with other girls but that didn't work - he seems to be not interested in anyone. It's also leading me to behave in some unhealthy ways - getting drunk and hooking up with random guys to prove that I'm ok with the situation. Its just getting a bit messy. I know that what I need to do is just get a grip. But that goes out the window when I'm with him. Any advice welcome. Thanks.
View related questions:
best friend, drunk, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1  +, writes (1 November 2010):
If he knows how you feel that is great. Are you telling him about these random hookups you have? Are you appearing to be an emotionally healthy woman to him or are you wild and clingy? If you are the latter then work on becoming a better woman. You seem to be around my age and now is the time to step up and I guess, grow up. You have to be a well-rounded woman. Maybe that will help. I do not know all the details of the situation but bettering yourself is always good and enjoying life. Think outside the box :)
A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (1 November 2010):
 No, I think you should tell him. Because if you don't, someday you might regret not even trying. And that's way worse! If you try, at least you can say you did and if it's not reciprocated then leave it at that, respect his decision and just continue the friendship. If you are such good friends you both will be able to pull through this. If it is reciprocated then you are probably one of the few luckiest people who ever lived. Many people make mistakes about the person they should without, however, usually the best one to be with in life is your best friend.
...............................
|
