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*adbrit
writes:Badbrit here, man who has peed everyone off with my problem and ignoring advice.I am now taking it, accepting it is over and she not want it anymore and has no interest.I accept it but will always feel she has done it wrong and it is purely because she cannot let go of the past through her slightly immature brain and lack of faith in me and us. That is life, you cannot force someone to grow up, and it is a shame cos life could have been good and was good had it not been for one thing - her feelings and dealing with what caused that to happen could have allowed her to shut the door on the past, look to the future and overcome what was holding everything in.She has not got it in her to try, despite the fact that it would have been the best thing for her future, our sons future, my future, and would have given happiness.One day she may see it, but she will not for a long time and i cannot wait hoping so will move on, help her find a new place and take little steps forward to move forward myself
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reader, Wendyg +, writes (1 September 2006):
 I wish you well Badbrit and I do hope that brighter tomorrows do follow... grab hold of life and see what it brings you.
Take care x x
A
male
reader, badbrit +, writes (1 September 2006):
badbrit is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have been reading one of those self help manuals also you know and it made me see more about this and feel better about myself, that it just happens sometimes and how the more i have been pulling, i have actually been pushing her away.The reason it went so far, and has been so traumatic is i have made it like that for myself, i have prolonged my agony and truth be told i cannot keep doing this to myself so have to stop, and have now and i think really have, in order to recover. I will recover because my town, my county, this country, the world is full of people i could have great relationships with, it is not like i won the lottery with her and found the one in a million for me, i found one of the millions i could love, time to move on to another one amongst the million potentials out there for me!!
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (1 September 2006):
 Wendyg, beautiful!!! I agree fully. The longer you hold on to this the more it will hurt and you're right you can't make someone grow up, but you can control your own actions. I hope that this thing works out well for you. I have been in your shoes and trust me it hurts like no other pain. I know it sounds cliche but time is a beautiful thing. Focus on yourself and happiness because if you are not happy you cannot make anyone else happy including your son. Good luck and all the best.
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (1 September 2006):
Hey,
Its not about peeing us off, its about not helping yourself by going over this again and again, i know its upsetting for you and you really dont want to let her go and wonder if things will change and what if you hang around etc... it will just hurt you more... its not fair and you know it... sometimes we have to take the harder path in life but later down the line it may have been the right thing to do... it is hard im not denying that... but honey your not moving in any direction at the moment and this torment you are doing to yourself is going to hurt a whole lot more... yes its easy for me to sit here im not in it, but i can feel your pain honey in what you write, im sorry that things have gone this way for you, but life is there to be grabbed hold of with both hands, unfortunately the girl you love and will probably love for a very long time to come yet, is not wanting to be with you in the way that you want and she may never be .... dont let that stop you wanting a life... its not fair to hold on to something that may never be, my mum stayed with my dad because she thought it would all work out.. had us kids and thought she could love and nuture him for the both of them... all it did was make her miserable and delay the ineveitable they divorced after 25 years of marriage her a broken woman... dont force this on yourself... live your life no one else can do that for you and you have to seek your own happiness, and sorry to say your girl doesnt think you are hers... i know you want the best for you son, but you will still be a big part of his life, no one will take that away from you that he is your son, I really wish i could make it all better for you as i can really see you are trying,.. but all this will do hun is drag it out for you... let what will be will be and there really are brighter tomorrows.... this come from the heart honey and i do wish you all the best, things will be okay you just cant see it yet.
Take care x x x
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