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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been in a committed relationship with a man who won't totally commit for 13 years, we have 2 children and I still love him dearly. About 4 months ago I asked him to move out so we could have time to really think about our future, he readily agreed, got an apartment and was getting along just fine until....About 30 days on classmates I found a man I had dated when I was 16 and 21. It was a good relationship, but school, college and being to young stood in our way. I had never forgotten him and he keeps my picture in his visor. We corresponded back and forth and found we really respected one another. This is what I felt was missing in my current relationship. I asked for permission to explore a relationship with this other person and got a "NO". I really think he would be a better man and makes me want to be a better person, but my kids...... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kristinp +, writes (2 September 2006):
It is bad for the kids but you can't be a great mom if you don't take care of your self and you want too.Also Why in the world would you ask permission to go out with guy.Also if he was willing to move out with out a fight then he really don't care about you that much.also 13 years is along time to be waiting around for him,you need to ask him if he wants you or not aand he say not right now then leave you are worth more than that and should ask more of him.If he really loves you he wont want to see you with another guy and he will marry you just to keep you to him self without you demanding him to marry you then he wont because he likes what he has now.
A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (1 September 2006):
 Well for the kids sake I would say stay with the father and make it work, BUT it has been 13 years and there is still no commitment. He has to dump or get off the pot. Why would you ask permission? Go out with him as friend and see were it leads. Maybe, thats just the thing you need to light a fire under this man to get him to commit or leave you alone. I know that there are children involved and that makes it harder to leave but at the same time you have to be happy in order to make their lives happier. This decision lies with you and your best interests. You have to either start living or start dying. Good Luck.
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