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female
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anonymous
writes: i was with my boyfriend for 2 years and 2months,we recently broke up for 2 months and hes with somebody else, were back in touch and its great were sleeping together again and he keeps telling me hes going to break up with his new girlfriend to be back with me, yet secretly hes going to meet her behind my back.i do love him but im sick of being hurt by is deceit. I recently lost my grandma and right now i just need him to be there and stop causing more hurt.how do i get the truth out of him whether hes going to finish with her or not?because i cant walk away from him i love him too much.hailey
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female
reader, joanna44 +, writes (22 May 2006):
 your not over your ex but you cant let him treat you this way and you shouldnt be sleeping with him if hes still with someone else i mean do you wana catch an STD, do u like being used, your worth more than that and make sure he knows it. ask him straight who he wants to be with and if he says you tell him he cant have you until his gf is totally out of his life, you've got to stand up for yourself over wise he will walk al over you. its for the best! gd luck x x
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (20 May 2006):
 I have to totally agree with Dr Psych here, very good advice as I say exactly the same as her.
A man who gets sex from two sources if laughing all the way what a great scenario eh!!
He is using your vulnerability right now and that is downright awful. Don't let yourself be used in this way.
I know that losing your grandma is so painful right now but seeing support in this way is just not the right thing to do.
Stop the sex immediately and see what happens, like Dr Psych says if he truly has strong feelings for you he will stop seeing the other girl but he would have done that by now if he had total respect for you.
Sloping off to see her and lying to you is not what makes a lasting relationship.
Talk to your family about your grief over the loss of your grandma and perhaps think about some counselling if it is affecting your day to day life.
Your ex is exploiting you right now and obviously the pain of your grief is masking that by his affection towards you. We all want someone to love us but genuine love does not include lies and cheating.
Start talking more and see how he reacts to that instead of the sex.
But involve your family right now as if it is your mum's mother or dad's mother who died they will be feeling the loss terribly right now and having your support and them supporting you is so much more what you need right now. They are your family and your family never let's you down when you are suffering the same emotions.
Think about how your grandma would feel if she knew how much torment you are going through right now. My grandma was a very strong character in my life and she is watching over me the whole time now and I have had so many messages from her over the years when I have seen clairvoyants etc so death is never the end, just a different world so try to take some comfort in that if it helps you.
I used to fear death terribly and when someone close to you dies all your own irrational thoughts start to surface but by having these messages over the years means that I now no longer fear death otherwise how could someone tell me all the things I have found out.
I am no nutter btw, I mean not everyone believes in clairvoyants or anything like that and that is fine so please don't think I am saying you must believe in this, I am just saying that I do and we all cope with death in our own ways.
Bereavement counselling may give you a lot more answers and so maybe look into it for both yourself and your family as it is a positive way of dealing with your grief right now.
I do feel for you and if you ever want to chat to any of us, do come back to us as you are never alone OK.
BFN
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (19 May 2006):
 If he was going to finish with her then he would have done so immediately. At the moment he has his cake and he is definitely eating it. I understand that you must be emotionally upset by the death of your grandmother but you shouldnt let this guy disrespect you by accepting the situation as it is. Stop sleeping with him, and tell him that you expect him to stop all contact with the other girl. Basically if he is with you for the sex and it is not available then he will lose interest and wander off with the other girl. If he genuinely likes you and respects you then he will stay around and give up on the other girl. You shouldn't feel resentful about the other girl as she probably hasn't got a clue that he is cheating on her.
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