A
female
age
36-40,
*iss sweetheart
writes:My baby's father walked out on me and I am 25 weeks pregnant with our daughter. We were doing fine he was taking me to my appointments, coming over spending time with me, talking about moving into a place together etc. One night I got mad at him because I wanted him to say he was in a relationship on face book and he said why should I so I told him it was time for him to go and he said I love you which is crap to me. Well the following week I had a craving for some ice cream asked him could he bring me some and his excuse I am at work. He said this all through the week. Friday I am in the car with my sister and look and behold he is with another girl and she is driving his van.I text him asking who is she and she text back saying her name and that she is his girl. My heart dropped. Here I was thinking me and him were okay and he was seeing someone else and still saying he loved me and we were also still having sex. So I finally got to talk to him and he tells me that we said we were not going to be together, that's his way of justifying what he is doing and that he will be there for his baby when she is sick and her bad days. That is exactly how he said it. I asked how can you be there for her when you have moved on and left your family. He will not be there when she is sick, my dad wasn't, he will not be there when she smiles and rollover for the first time. Is this girl really worth all of that? Missing out on your daughter biggest moments? I just don't get him. Everyone tells me he has a lot of growing up to do, he is only 20 but wow I am just hurt by it all.I knew we had a few problems but for my daugther I was willing to work through that so we could be a family and all he does is think about his own personal satisfication. I have cried so much I don't even think I have any more tears left.I know it will be hard being a single mom and I am ready but wow I just did not think he would do this. Just need some advice thanks.
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female
reader, miss sweetheart +, writes (4 May 2010):
miss sweetheart is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou know what the two of you are both right and Cindy I do not look at myself as a victim but someone who is still learning and this situation has taught me a valuable lesson. Actually we were in a committed relationship, supposedly. We had talked about what would happen if I got pregnant and he seemed to value family like I did. He told me that he would want to raise his daughter with me and to marry me. This was way before the baby came to be. But with a jerk like this I figured that was all a lie. He is the first guy I ever had sex with. It hurts a lot but I hate moping around and be sad for myself. I know that I have a long hard road ahead and I also know not to take his word seriously. I will be raising my daughter alone, while he is out having fun with his new girl. My family tells me he will grow up and realize but I don't even want that to happen, I can not see myself with him anymore. I am done!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 May 2010):
 I know it's gonna sound like I am gonna put the blame on the victim (you), that's not my intention, and I feel for you, but what can I say, that's exactly the reason why before bringing a new child into the world people should first be in a committed relationship, making sure that they both want it to be monogamous, and checking that they are on the same page about important stuff like the value that parenthood has for each of them and if they have a shared vision for the future,
He is only 20, and yes he sounds selfish,immature and superficial, then again I am not too surprised that at his age he is not worried about missing out on his baby first steps and first smiles, he'll be more worried about missing out having fun times with his friends .
What is done is done, chalk this up to experience that will enable you in future to chose more reliable partnerships . It raised your consciousness about dickheads so next time you will be much better at screening them out fast. Now focus on the beautiful gift that the Universe is sending to you ,stay close to your family and friends, and thank God that you did not get stuck with such an inadequate partner.
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