A
female
age
30-35,
*Janey'
writes:me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years now and want a baby at least one, so we have been trying for a while but I don't no whether he wants as much or his hope is just lost, at the minute we are waiting to see if i am pregnant, but if i am not he is going to be so down in the dumps about it and blame himself..any tips on conceiving and how to keep him happy?
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female
reader, meg2989  +, writes (19 January 2010):
 I do agree with the anonymous poster. If you two are completly sure this is want you want and you are ready to commit to eachother ( marriage?), have financial means to support each other and a baby, have your own place, ( be it rented or owned)have at the very VERY LEAST finnished highschool, then by all means you should have a baby if you are both ready to. Remember just because you WANT a baby doesn't mean that you ready. Besides you DO have a lot of life ahead of you, I know you are probably sick of hearing this, but you are young and babies are a responsibility for the rest of your life. Speaking of which, hospital bills are expensive!!! I myself am actually 39 weeks pregnant, literally ready to pop. I'm goin to be 21 in a few weeks. My boyfriend of a year and I found out that I was pregnant in May of 09. It wasn't planned, and we were using protection. Fortunatly I was already living on my own, ( renting of course) so that was one thing less to worry about, but at the time I really didn't believe I could provide for our baby, especially since I was barely able to support myself. My boyfriend and I went probably 20 rounds of whether we should give the baby up for adoption.There were millions of tears. Sometimes we'd both fall asleep crying, it was very difficult. Niether of us really wanted to, but we were trying to think of what was best for the baby. Fortunately our financial situation took a turn for the better and although we are still on food stamps, we feel like we can take more than adequette care of our baby. (The baby shower REALLY helped us out as well) It IS going to be hard on us, even when people are older and financially stable, children are never easy, so to have a baby when you are younger is that much more difficult. As far as hospital bills are concerned, I have extremely good medical insurance, and even with that the cost of staying in the hospital is 400 dollars per day. And thats JUST a hospital bill... so you can only imagine the cost of nessecities. I would say with everything that we have for him, nessecities like a crib, bassinet, baby toiletries (baby shampoo, powder, lotion, oil, diapers, wipes, washclothes, baby tub, diaper rash cream) and other baby nessecities like bottles, bottle warmer, baby monitor, binkys, clothing, car seat, stroller, etc. I would say with everything that we bought and that other people bought us for the baby the cost probably totals around 3500 dollars. (although our crib was 400 because it was brand new and really nice)But those are the kind of costs you are looking at just to get started. And sure, you can buy some things at yard sales, like maybe a bouncer or crib, but other things you really have to buy new, like a crib matteress, binkies, cups, bottles, and several other things. You need to make sure you are prepared, not to mention the emotional stress. You won't be able to go out like you can now, you always have to plan ahead for the baby, now and as the child grows. So you really need to make sure that you can handle raising a child. It is much easier said than done. Best wishes to you, and please think about it for a little while, and then post to let us know what you decide. Good luck!!!3 ( and ty for reading, it was long- winded)
A
male
reader, Dalmatian +, writes (19 January 2010):
Children are a blessing. Keep trying!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010): I don't mean to sound harsh or anything, but here goes.
First of all, if you are really the age it says you are, you are WAY TOO YOUNG to be trying to conceive. Have you finished school yet? You need to finish school and finish your education before you start thinking about having children. You know that a baby consumes your life, they always come first so you will never get to do anything you want until that baby grows up and starts a life of its own. You need to think about YOUR future and think about the things YOU want to do with your life before you commit to something so huge. And do you or your boyfriend have jobs? Babies cost money. Lots of it. And I hope you aren't expecting either of your parents to pay for it all because in their eyes you are still children and growing up. Believe me, they aren't going to want to raise another child while they're raising you. And you're so young. You need to be considering all of your options. Is this the boy you want to be spending the rest of your life with? If you are already hoping to have children, I hope he plans on sticking around. Most young men don't want to have anything to do with raising a child before they've had all their fun. You really shouldn't be considering getting pregnant at your age anyway. You've only been together for two years, you have many years ahead of you and there are thousands of men out there. I really think you should reconsider, and look at all of your options before even thinking about having a baby at your age. Enjoy your youth while you can.
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