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Baby Blues.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 May 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 May 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've been really getting down lately a lot of friends have been having kids lately, I'm 23 and I've been broody for over 2 years. I just haven't been in a place to have them, I know have a lovely partner, but he isn't ready for them.

I've got to the point now where I have been avoiding close friends as I get this dull ache when I see them with their babies, even strangers in the street are starting to make me feel this way ... I know I'm envious but i cant help the way i feel.

I even wish that my period may be late even though we are cautious with sex and are always protected. but every time I have a monthly I feel disappointed. It's become an obsession and I don't know how to shake it.

To make things worse my younger sister has announced shes pregnant.

I just feel helpless with all these emotions.

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A female reader, RedAthena United States +, writes (28 May 2011):

RedAthena agony auntI think it is pretty normal as a young woman to wonder about having babies.

The media and television shows make having babies sound like a LOT of FUN and you might not be a whole person without this FUN, FUN, FUN experience.

Maybe you feel like you are missing out on something special? No one likes to feel like they do not belong to some "secret club". Looking towards young Mothers and seeing the relationships they have with their babies or their Fathers can tug on your heart as well.

I have met many young Mothers that feel they really wanted a different kind of love in their life or that it would bring them closer to their partner.

Becoming a Mother...a PARENT..is a HUGE committment! You give up your body, your personal time, a part of your relationship, your money, your sleep, etc. If you become a Mom, it will be huge sacrifice.

I am with chigirl, go spend time with your childless freinds and enjoy all the things about your life right now. There are plenty of Moms that I am sure are envious of your freedom:) You are young and you have many years ahead of you to look forward to the right time, the right partner, and when you are good and ready to make that HUGE choice....not take a chance and hope it works out for the best because it looks like fun.

Best Wishes.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (28 May 2011):

chigirl agony auntI can't help much with this one other than say: you're not alone. I have the same lingering feeling me, and society doesn't ease the pressure either. Then everyone around me seem to be popping them out one by one.

What I found helpful was to look at my good friends who DON'T have babies. It helps to know you're not alone in not being ready yet (being ready includes having a partner that is ready), it will make you feel more normal. Because, you are perfectly normal to not have babies yet. You'll get there too. Just not right now, and no need to worry, there's time. Better to be a good parent later than have a kid now just because "everyone else is doing it".

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A male reader, a-g55 United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2011):

a-g55 agony auntThink about weather you are both wanting the same things. Having a baby is an instinct your born with and its your body telling you that to be happy you need a baby. you must act on this. dont suppress it. Tell him you want children or you will find someone that does!

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A female reader, Areej43 Saudi Arabia +, writes (27 May 2011):

Areej43 agony auntDon't be sad !

one time you will have your own babies, just be patient and talk to your partner in a proper way so he can understand your feelings.

Good luck :)

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