A
female
age
30-35,
*onverse Chicka
writes:Help! My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now and we're completely in love. I've never been more happy and comfortable with anyone. Well, today we were at his house in his basement with his previously Catholic mother home. I'm not allowed in his house without her there. Both our parents are fairly conservative and I just finally got her to like me when she walked in on me giving him a hand job ( which p.s. is extremely out of character for me!). I am absolutely terrified. I'm sure she'll call my parents and tell them and so far, I'm hiding out at my grandma's house. What should I do? Should I break up with him?
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female
reader, stephanie,jayne  +, writes (1 February 2010):
ok first of all you are young so i can see why it may bother both your parents, but on the other hand you love each other and have been together a year and its unreasonable of them to think that you arnt going to be intermate!! They shouldnt be forcing their beliefes on you and your boyfriend, its not like you have been sleeping around hundrends of people and are having hardcore sex sessions in his parents bed!!! i really can't see why this is a problem?? your young and inlove and you seem like your both decent people with good morels!! you should be trusted to be in the house together and your parents need to realise that we live in the 21st century and things have changed since they were young!! respect their feelings but stand up for yourself, you havnt done anything wrong!! :) good luck, it must be hard having old fashioned strict parents, but just remember they have done a good job in bringing you up so far and that even though their methods and way of thinking is dated that they are only trying to make you good people, but they already succeded in that and need to learn to back off and let you make your own decisions now. xx :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010): It could have been worse, be glad it was a hand job. My step-father caught me giving my bf now husband a B/J. He was very cool about it said he was sorry and never said anything else I was 19 then. Be prepared for questions but like someone said earlier you didn't invent sex and both of your parents probably did the same thing.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (19 January 2010):
Well, it depends, what exactly did she say when she caught you? Did she scream or threaten any action?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010): Agreed, your mature enough to weather this... so what, it's a hand job- it could have been far worse, and even his mom needs to know this.
What was her reaction? What did she say? IMO, the mature response would be to apologize for interrupting (you two should have been someplace more private) and then sitting her son down to make sure that he was armed with FACTS about birth control. If you two are happy with hand jobs that is GREAT! If I had a daughter I'd rather she be doing that than having anal sex (in an effort not to get pregnant)...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): You shouldn't break up with him, there is no real reason to. Your parents and his should realise that its completely normal during teen years that you start to express your love with physical sexual acts.
Im sure she loves her son and wants him to be happy, you make him happy and he loves you, so even if your relationship with her isnt the same as it was, at least she'll be civil.
angel x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 January 2010):
How many couples do you think have been caught like this? Hundreds. Hiding won't work, and neither will breaking up with him because that will just hurt you both. Hopefully, she won't have called your parents. I'd like to think that she was too embarrassed to. If your parents have a go, just say you made a mistake and it won't happen again. It's not a big a deal as it sounds.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (18 January 2010):
 Don't break up with him if you love him. The parents need to know that you're old enough to make your own life choices and they need to give you two some freedom even if that means a long talk about the whole situation before hand. He needs to talk with his mom and work this out. Its not your place to deal with his mom this early on in the relationship.
Stand up to them and see what they do. They were young once and hopefully they will remember what it was like.
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