A
female
age
30-35,
*oocuteforyou
writes:I am currently in a relationship and my boyfriend is 10 years older then I am! So he's experienced a lot! just about every girl that he has been with he has had a threesome..and it hurts my heart knowing that he wants to bring this type of stuff in our relationship because it is wrong!! this is our second time getting back together and before we got back together i made it loud and clear that he cant want this type of relationship cuz i'm not goin for it.and he accepted it..and just last night we had a big argument and he blew that up in my face how he wants me to.have a threesome.I'm afraid he's going to end up leaving me becuse of the one thing he wants I'm not able to do!r I'm afraid hes going to destroy me emotionally he's a great guy but he says he can try and go without for the sake of me..but I don't believe him..he also throws up in my face i don't know how to be submissive when i at least thought ive done everything in my powers to make him happy.?someone please help me what do i do??
View related questions:
got back together, threesome Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): You have asked for advice, every one pretty much told you that your boyfriend was abusive towards you.
You have decided to stay with your boyfriend any way and for now he isn't "talking about" the threesome, yet every girlfriend he has had he has demanded threesomes with and now they are all ex girlfriends.
You have chosen to, decided to go back and fool around with your ex boyfriend.
You say that you were forced to do that and now you just don't know what to do.
Well sweetheart, here is some tough love for you. You have made all of these decisions for your self. No one tied your hands and legs and dragged you to do anything.
Not doing any thing is even a decision and a choice.
You have another choice that you don't seem to take as an option. You can be single, without a boyfriend and learn to be an independent young woman who takes "responsibility" for her own choices, her own mistakes and is able to take care of herself first on her own without a man. You can be independent on your own and figure out some goals for yourself and go about achieving those goals and getting your self esteem from accomplishment instead of from a boy.
But that is your decision, darling.
A
female
reader, toocuteforyou +, writes (4 August 2009):
toocuteforyou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks..sorry for the late reply!!but my life is so crazy seem like itz gotton worse! Yes I'm still wit my boyfriend but out of all the stuff I've been thru with him my highschool ex for three yrs has came bacc n my life.n I'm so torn I don't kno wut to do n worst part is I have cheated wit my X. I'm not this type of girl at all but itz like I wuz drove back to him becuz my x has nv put me thru all this tht my bf has with this threesome stuff! Soo shuld I stay r leave! I don't kno wut my heart or mind is telln me becuz I can't tell the diff but I do want my old life back.but I don't wanna make the wrong decision!!.n wut makes it even worst my boyfriend doesn't even talk bout having threesomes nemore.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): Please reread my original post.
You are in an abusive relationship and his abuse has you so emotionally broken down that you are clinging to your abuser.
Tell a parent about everything and ask for support to get away from him.
File a restraining order to keep him away from you. Even at work he will have to keep his distance, if he doesn't speak to your HR department.
It will seem hard to leave but if you don't you will be so damaged from this relationship you probably have great difficulty trusting anyone ever again. You need to get far away from him. Even if it means finding another job.
No amount of talking to you here is going to make your current relationship better. He is a dangerous sort, there is nothing about yourself you need to change to stay except getting out NOW!
...............................
A
female
reader, toocuteforyou +, writes (28 April 2009):
toocuteforyou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI apprieciate all of u guys help!!but I seriously need help..I'm continously stressed!!!I'm n school n I"m just goin thru soo much with him..we got into it again last nite bout the threesome..he keeps saying if I loved him I wuld do nething to make him happy..but y do I have to do a threesome to make u happy..yall this is killng me..I've never been so stressed out n my life..n this hurts so bad..the guy tht ure n love with..is tryna make u become something tht ure not!!I cannot do this!!!itz not that easy to let go..n plus we WORK together..!!I just need sumone to talk to!!I feel tht I have nobody..I'm scared to tell my close friends!!!becuz I alredy kno wut they're gonna think..I'm crying now as I'm writing this!!..I just need som serious help!!I'm so miserable it seems like everything I've work so hard for my respect my dignity my self control is all being taken away frm me!!I feel so empty!!!I'm n serious trouble
...............................
A
female
reader, ninetoes  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 Is is never ok for someone to pressure you to do anything that you don't want to do. If he feels this strongly about something that you are uncomfortable with, then you need to be the strong one to say, "hey, take it or leave it, because I'm better than you and I can get a guy that respects me and treats me well"It sounds like he's trying to control you, and that is NOT ok. You need to get control back, and stop worrying so much about what he thinks because whether he likes it or not, YOU are in control of what you do and don't want to do.He needs to grow up and act his age. If he's ten years older than you, he should certainly be playing the part. Even the fact that he has brought it up again since you have had answers and tried to butter you up by saying, "I won't pressure you into something you don't want to do" says a lot about who he is.I don't like the sounds of this guy at all. I think there are a lot of red flags here that you should be paying close attention to. Don't let yourself get too attached, or too close and pay very close attention to his actions, because actions speak louder than words! Be very careful with this guy, even if you have been together for awhile now, I don't think it's a good idea to completely let your guard down if he blows up about not getting what he wants and then contradicts himself the next day...
...............................
A
female
reader, toocuteforyou +, writes (14 April 2009):
toocuteforyou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank u guYs!..ur advice wuz really helpful..he brung it up again the other day..n I just cried becuz I love him so much..n we've been together a while..but he says he won't pressure me..wow I never thought I wuld b goin thru this..I mean he does everything for me...mentally and physically he's there but that's his only flaw!!that's y..I don't kno wut to do.is it worth leaving someone becuz of their flawa..?I mean everyone has flaws..maybe he will change??!!
...............................
A
female
reader, chickchick  +, writes (5 April 2009):
 totally agree with the past advice.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): Roger that RhythmandBlues -
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): honey get a grip. tell him to take his threesome somewhere else. stand up for what you think is right. you are doing the right thing. if he don't accept that then he don't love you to begin with. if he did he would not even want to participate in that to begin with.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): I am sorry, but why on earth are you with a guy who cares more about having a threesome than he does about you? And yelling at you that you don't know how to be submissive?
You are too young to put yourself through this kind of crap with a boyfriend. Let me put it to you straight, the guy is a perv.
He is 10 years older than you are and since you are under 20 or so, that tells me he is in it for the sex he has with a nubile young thing like you. He is a sex addict would be my guess.
You broke up with him once, and it is too bad that you didn't recognize then that you and this guy are not right for each other. My gut tells me he doesn't care about you, he is a jerk, and he is abusive......
Please break up with him and don't look back. Find a nice guy who is not a pervert and wants to be in a mature adult relationship with YOU
...............................
|
