A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:dear cupidme n my bf have been seeing each other for almost 9months. he seems cold to me, we dont talk to each other every day, not even a text! he told me once that he thinks it is weak to tell me he misses me! i am a flight attendant, he asked me what would i do when i'm away and lonely, there are cockpit crew, male crew and passengers... blah ... and when someitmes i asked him if we have been to this place, he would say 'no, was it ur other bfs or ex?' but he didnt say it in a serious way.anyway, he confuse me a lot! he seems so cold now, but he gave me his home key and the access card to the building. i met his friends n coworkers, he invited me to meet his parents in dec, as they are not living in the same country. i don't know if he likes me or what. can u please help me? and one more thing, my friends said he might be insecure? is that possible a man will act cold when he is insecure? for 9months, i didnt mention meeting my parents n i only asked him to join me n my friends once.many thanks!!
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female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (30 October 2009):
 Well if you have told him and made your intentions clear, if he is ignoring you that would be his answer of rejection of you desire for him to open up.
It is then your decision now if you can accept his cold postirior or not. Possibly you telling him you are leaving the relationship due to his behaviour may shake him and make him realize his outward masculinity is not worth losing you or his pride in his masculinity may allow you to leave.
You have to understand that you should never use the threat of leaving someone as a tool. If you decide to leave it is because you have understood he may accept your proposal to seperate and you are ready to move on. Its up to him to change your mind or not.
HonningKanin
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you!
he actually is from the UK. I've told him I'm not quite happy in this relationship for like 3-4 times. I told him I would like to meet more, coz we used to meet on weekends only, I'd also like him to call from time to time. I told him it is not weak to show his feelings and it is sweet to say things like I miss you.
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin +, writes (29 October 2009):
Well I have to say it can be due to his upbringing. I know that in some cultures it is not masculine to indulge in emotions. Emotions would be seen as the domain of the woman and it does make it hard for women to read men. However its not to say he doesn't like you or doesn't care about you. It just means he was brought up not to display his emotions.
Being insecure can lead someone to be cold when displaying emotions like admitting they love or care, but normally they manifest other symptoms like unfounded jealousy and constant suspicion.
I would say he more than likely likes you by his actions, but if you feel he is too cold you need to talk to him. If you require someone who is open and honest with you about how they feel, he needs to know that. He may understand and may open up to you when he realises that displaying emotion to you is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of communication and trust stregnth. Or he may reject it. Then it will be up to you to decide whether you can accept him for who he is and live with his cold disposition or not.
HonningKanin
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