A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Big dilemma you guys ill try and keep it short. I really need some help. My boyfriend is 22 and works on a boat for 2 weeks of the month. Well, all day he texts me like once every couple of hours, and on his lunch break, like once. When he gets off work he takes like 20 minutes minimum usually to respond to my texts, and ill text him, he wotn reply for a while, then he'll say "hey baby im going to bed ill text you in the morning" disregarding my text bc i usually ask him questions and stuff of that nature. He says i am the only woman he talks to, so what could be occupying his time? Am i blowing this out of proprtion? I just feel nervous that hes doing somethin behind my back. Oh and when he replies its usually something cliche like "aww baby im sorry" or "yea baby" like what the heck. can you be any less interested in our conversation.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 February 2013):
 Next time you are FACE-to-FACE with him TALK to him, don't try and resolve these issues over the phone and specially NOT through texts.
If he withholds to somehow "punish" you for talking to a male friend then he is being childish - he should instead have talked to you about how it made him feel. The thing is... if you two don't TALK properly to each other( and I mean have face to face conversations) these issues will only get even more misunderstood and create new issues. So talk to him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): I think you should give it a couple more days and then text him and tell him how you feel. He's obviously being petty and texting cliche answers because he is upset about you and that other guy. I think you should make it clear that this relationship will not work if he is intentionally treating you differently.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate all the advice, I do, but what you all are failing to understand is, I do not pester him. I dont ask him whats taking so long to text back. I dont bug him on the weekends when he doesnt text. Or when he's sitting online on facebook for hours but does not communicate back with me. I just keep it to myself. I say he keeps it bottled in because of another issue we had. He was angry because i was talking to a male friend. Which I figured out is why the low communication. He isnt good at speaking up on his problems. But i dont badger him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 February 2013):
Dude, if he is WORKING he shouldn't be texting you... That shouldn't be his priority.
I would give him a little space when he is working.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (3 February 2013):
 Quite frankly I'm not surprised that he gets mad and keeps everything bottled in if you keep pestering him.
For example: he's been working all day, sends you a text and says he's going to bed and will text you in the morning - and that is not acceptable to you.
You say you don't know how to make him communicate with you.
Well, I've got news for you: you can't. If you keep on like this he'll come to regard you as a nuisance and will communicate even less - maybe not at all. Nobody likes to be badgered. It only makes them resist you all the more.
You would do well to back off - way off -
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2013): Yes you are blowing this out of proportion. Expecting him to drop what ever he is doing to reply to your unimportant texts is narcissisticThe world does not revolve around you. His world should not revolve around you either.
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A
male
reader, RUOpenMinded +, writes (3 February 2013):
Yes you are blowing this out of proportion and probably driving him nuts. He is at work. Leave him alone so he can focus and not have to worry about upsetting you every 10 min. Relax or you will shot yourself in the foot and he will go somewhere else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNO he does not have a family. he has a child but he is not with the mom. how can he be changing diapers when he is out on a boat? and it worries me because before a few days ago he WAS a big texter. he says hes in love with me but never wants to talk ON THE PHONE. he gets mad and keeps everything bottled in, thus not having alot to say to me. I dont understand how to make him COMMUNICATE period is my problem.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (3 February 2013):
 he sounds like he works really hard. to be honest, i wouldn't want to talk on the phone or text much at all if i'd been at work all day, either. he might just not be big on texting. some people really just don't enoy it much. which i think is a good thing in a lot of ways. i wouldn't stress so much about it. i'm sure he's just busy or relaxing at home watching tv when he's off, or out enjoying his evening after work. just because he doesn't spend every spare moment of his life texting you, doesn't mean something is wrong.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (3 February 2013):
Oh yes, you have a big dilemma alright. It's HUGE.
He works on a boat two weeks out of the month so not available too much to see you in person, and then you and he trade texts many times during the day (not, as others have pointed out, the best way of communicating) and you complain because he takes 20 minutes (SUCH a terribly long time!)to respond to your text.
You come across as one spoiled young woman. You ought to have some REAL issues - boyfriend related or other stuff - to worry about and create a big fuss over.
Grow up!!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 February 2013):
Texting as a primary means of communication is clichéd and there's nothing you can really do about it except talk to him on the phone.
So yes, you are blowing things out of proportion.
Either that or he's married to another woman and has a family and everything. So he only has time for a quick text in between changing diapers and other family obligations.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (3 February 2013):
 Are you for real? Why don't you grow up and not have a relationship through texting, like other adults. Seriously, if you can't go for a few days, let alone hours without texting him, you have some dependency issues. I would expect a question like this from a 13 y/o.
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