A
female
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anonymous
writes:My bf doesnt always reply to my messages or phone calls. This really frustrates and upsets me, and it also makes me worried.We have a long distance r/ship- this makes it even harder to deal with this.Last time he visited me, he was all over me like a rash!!! He wanted to spend every sing minute with me. He said he would love to move back to where I live someday (he used to live here but had to move away for work). When we said goodbye before he left to drive back to his new home he said 'i dont want to let you go, dont worry ull be hearing from me lots'. And he said he would visit me again soon. Anyway, I told him to message me when gets back to his new home so I know he got there safely, he said ok. Never got a message. So I sent a text, never got a reply. A day later, still no reply so I tried calling him and left naother message. He eventually sends a message back and he says he was too busy to reply. That was his excuse!!! to be honest, i find that very arrogant of him! It literally takes 1 minute to send a text. And he is very tech savy, so its not like he hates texting or is slow at it. He has a unlimited amount of calls and messages as well, so its not a money issue. Its apparnarantly an issue of him being 'too busy' to take 1 minute out of his busy day to say hey i arrived safely!!I just feel really hurt. I feel like since now im not there to provide him with the physical side of the r/ship that he doesnt care. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): I think you should explain to him how this makes you feel, and that it makes you uncomfortable and worried when he doesn't respond to your messages. He might not realise that this is bothering you so much.
It sounds like you are not expecting an instant reply, or for loads and loads of messages, just some kind of communication from him every so often. I think that is perfectly reasonable. And it must hurt when he says that he is "too busy".
Like I said, I think you should tell him what you have said in your message, explain to him how hurt you feel. Hopefully, he might make more of an effort as a result. Good luck. x
A
female
reader, SexDrive1ohhh1  +, writes (15 May 2009):
 Hi there! Well we all know long distance relationships very, very rarely work out! Men are funny creatures... I guess it all depends how long this has been going on for. If, not too long - then I would say, give him a little time to adjust to his new surroundings, situations, etc. But if its been going on a few months... then i think its time you move on! You dont need to be treated like that. If he loves you, he would make an effort to make sure you're secure in your relationship, and he would give you no reason to doubt.
Goodluck!
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A
female
reader, Pyro_Dimples  +, writes (15 May 2009):
 if you really care about him then talk to him. voice your concerns. If it helps send him a message or jot down the things that are bothering you before you call. Just be strait up with him and see what he has to say.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): He obviously has communication issues. Don't be the type that initiates contact EVERY time. If you are doing that you are in a dead or dying relationship. Its fully possible that he said all that he said to you because you were in his hemisphere, and he was saying it with his second head, and not his first, if you get me. You have to realize a lot of guys will say anything to get a piece. Anything.
Also, he could have compartmentalized his brain. You are the fantasy, his retreat. When he goes back to his real life, you fade away, until the next episode.
I agree with you, though. He should have at least messaged you to say he got back safely, if that is what you two had agreed upon. But you can't let this indenture you to him. The answer I would suggest is do what he's doing. Severely lessen or sever contact until the dynamic of your relationship has changed.
And if it doesnt, be prepared to move on
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