A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey.. i don't know if its a really big problem but its all i think about all day, so here goes. i have been in a relationship for 4 years and 5 months now. and right now i'm only 19. i have been with the same guy since i started dating. i really love him. but since school ended and he went to another city, he's been going awol on me now n then. he doesn't call or text for entire days. which is weird, compared to the volume of his calls and texts and video chats and meetings when he's in town. i keep waiting and waiting for him to call or text but he just vanishes. and doesn't even reply to any of my attempts to contact him. the end of the day he always has clarifications, but to me they aren't good enough. nevertheless i don't say anything because i just wanna talk nicely and be happy when he does talk to me. i don't wanna fight. this has been going on for over a year. i have tried to tell him in every possible way that i won't take this behavior. i have fought with him, cried, stopped talking, the works. but he doesn't change his habits. he takes me for granted. what do i do?
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male
reader, Eddy Hannah  +, writes (12 December 2012):
Sorry to be a party pooper, but it sound's ominous and even shifty behaviour, on his part. A third party involved maybe?
A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (14 July 2011):
i would talk to him face to face when you see him and have a good talk to him do you think maybe he is cheating on you thats why he keeps going awol?
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A
male
reader, krit +, writes (14 July 2011):
 I'm in similar situation as yours but I'm criminal in my case. My gf blames me for not givin her enough time from the day I've left for college in other city.
I'm not a big fan of ldr's so I tried to end it before leaving but was not to happen as it too tough for both of us and we were crazy for eachother.
Everthing expect distance is good but trust me it sucks to be an ldr as most guys are out on dates but only being left out all alone in hostel.
I don't want to cheat her cuz I love her but it's difficult to not to think that I'm missing out on a normal healthy relationship. We skype almost daily too avoid these negative thoughts.
I would like to know what more you would like him to do for you so that you don't feel the way you do now???
Reply honestly as it would help me also...
Is it cute messages here and there or online chat or a suprise gift to remind you that he's still thinking of you?????
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A
female
reader, Irish49  +, writes (14 July 2011):
 Clearly this is a huge problem, if you think about it all day. Stop fighting with him and stressing yourself out. Think rationally and reassess this relationship and really define if it's making you happy, anymore. We can't tell you what he's doing when he goes awol, but it's been my experience that when a couple love each other, a lot, they do all they can to keep that love strong and going forward. One of the ways they do this, is a lot of communications (phone, internet, text messaging).
Listen, you two have been in a long term relationship and he should respect you. Love and respect go hand in hand. Without one, you don't have the other. Calmly let him know that you expect him to treat you with more respect and that you are really questioning why he does this. Ask him to come clean and tell you outright, why he is not calling. You will have to be strong, as he may tell you what you don't want to hear, but you need to know in order to know what path you take for the future. If it's bad news, you grieve the loss, but time will heal and you will move onto happier times. It does happen, believe me..we've all been there.
Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 July 2011):
 I am afraid there is nothing that you can do to make him change. You have spoke to him and told him what you expect of him. He hasn't changed his ways therefore it doesn't look like he is going to change any time soon.
I guess you just need to think it over and ask yourself can you put up with it, if you cant and you feel like he is taking you for granted well then maybe it is time to think about parting ways.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (14 July 2011):
 Like you said, he takes you for granted so leave him. You've told him how you felt and obviously he doesn't care enough to change. I think the relationship has been over for him for a year and he's too wimpy to say so.
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