A
female
age
30-35,
*shxs
writes:please help i'm 16 and have been going with my boyfriend for 1year and 9months, but when i'd only been with him for a month i left him for my ex. i really regret this and would never be unfaithful to him, however, my boyfriend has trouble beleieving this any really doesn't trust me. every time i go out without him he thinks i'll cheat on him and now, we're at the stage where we are arguing every day about silly little things that shouldn't matter. i really feel as if i am being pushed to the limit and don't know what to do. the last thing i want is for us to split up but i really am fed up of the arguments and every argument we have i feel like i'm one step closer to ending it although i really don't want to. i've tried so hard to talk to him and make him understand that i don;t want anyone else but it doesn't seem to be working and we are drifting apart. what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2009): Actions speak louder than words and you boyfriend has every right to be skeptical. You might not understand his take on the matter because, you were not the one affected by the unfaithful act--he was. Being older and knowing what I know about human behavior, cheating, and etc...I have to honestly say that I would be skeptical and that would all but leave me the only rightful and mind easing choice to leave you...that is...if I were in your boyfriend's shoes. What people don't seem to understand about cheating or leaving a current spouse or lover for someone else (esp. an ex) is that that action says this "I have found someone better," or "I am still in love and/or have feelings for my ex and regardless of how bad he or she may have treated me, the feelings I feel for them is stronger than what I feel for you." It's obvious that things didn't work out between you and your ex, so now you regret leaving your current boyfriend--he took you back obviously, but he doesn't trust you. I think he should ease his mind and just leave you---now, now, I know this is not something you want to hear, but it's true. If you think you are having trouble and spats now, if he stays with you knowing that you left him to be with your ex, he behavior will only get worse and worse. I say end the relationship and look at this situation as a lesson learned and not to be repeated. You both are young...just try to move on.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (14 November 2009):
 This a control issue.
He wants to know if he says "JUMP" if you will reply "How High, Darling?".
I would respond to his next request by telling him to do something that is physically not possible.
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