A
female
age
36-40,
*lexandria5550
writes: in terms of problems this maybe isnt huge but it is playing on my mind a bit. i have been with my boyfreind for 2 years now...and he just doesnt treat me with the same care and attention he used to. Yesterday was my 24rd birthday....and i got nothing from him. He hadn't even planned anything special. I hid my dissapointment But the thing is, its not just yesterday, he gave me nothing for valentines, and last birthday was fairly crap, he knew i was upset then aswell,but he just keeps doing it, which is why i had already prepared myself to not be upset in front of him and not expect much at all this time. He is a really nice guy but is he just stingy or what? I shouldnt question my relationship on such a materialistic point should i?its not like he does not have money, and even a birthday card given with some meaning would be nice. For his last birthday i saved up for something special for him and wrote a letter for him, i made the effort so it would be special for him.why he so unrespect my feeling?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2012): You know what, my boyfriend of 5 years tossed me my week long milkshake leftovers on valentines day then he ran off for that same week with out telling me. I looked for him but he never answer my calls so I decided to forget about him until 3 weeks later he followed me to a restaurant w my girlfriend and hit me and the undercover police put him in jail. I was so stupid when he called me I bailed him out then we got back together but I still remember his to me on Valentines Day. So, when his birthday came I wrapped his left over facial tissues iin my car and gave it to him and wrote that's all I can afford. He was very hurt and dissappointed but still never leave me alone. So, you may want to try this just so that he would feel the way we felt.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2012): My bf does the exact same thing to me... No V-day cards, no Bday cards, nothing... I would say leave him. Do the thing I was too scared of doing.... It will not get any better. Trust me, he KNOWS and he remembered, he just doesn't consider it on his list of "to do" things. Most likely, if you bring it up, he will call you materialistic and get upset at you (what my bf did, ha) its not about the grandiose gifts or marvelous trips, it's about the ATTENTION and CARE that even a .99 cent card displays. Now, tell me something, is it that hard to run to a convenience store and purchase a mediocre box of chocolates and a dollar card and sign it? Even the day of!? There's your answer. That is how much he "cares" about you.
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (2 September 2012):
 Hi Alexandria,
I agree with you here. Your boyfriend should make an effort to remember your birthday. Not even a card? My husband and I have been married now for some years and he always remembers my birthday, valentines and our anniversary and I do the same for him this started even before we got married. Don't take this from him and let him know exactly how you feel. relationship is a two way thing please dont hide your disappointment.
Kelly
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (2 September 2012):
 Don't hide your disappointment. You need to tell him it hurt your feelings, and if that does not help the situation, you may want to leave the relationship. I know that sounds rather harsh, but if you want someone thoughtful and caring, and he isn't, he will never be that way.
I am not the type of person that has to have material things either. I could be happy with a sexy note or just something that says he is thinking of me. But, when they don't do anything and/or they don't act like you are special to them...that is what hurts.
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A
female
reader, Lucky786 +, writes (2 September 2012):
 This issue isn't about money it's about caring enough to realise that a birthday is a special day to make a fuss of the people you truly care about.
If you were reading your post and it was written by a young teen talking about his/her parents not bothering with his/her birthday what would you think?
I don't think you should stay quiet about this. Tell him how much it has hurt you that he hasn't bothered with your birthday. If you stay quiet about this, he will keep on doing it.
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