A
female
age
30-35,
*eekute
writes:Dear Cupid...Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year and a half now, and recently we have been constantly fighting. We use to be so happy, and we NEVER fought about anything. My boyfriend isn't the type of guy to say all of this to me... Until now I guess.. So he texts yesterday me while I'm at the dentist and tells me that were to opposite and our relationship wont work out. He pretty much made me look like the bad guy by saying that I want to start ALL of the fights, and he thinks I was pushing him away. He treated me like a piece of meat, it was horrible, and I was so devastated. I pretty much was getting on hand and knees and begging him not to leave me. I kept telling him over and over, I can change, I'm sorry..Just tell me what I need to do.. I never felt so pathetic in my life. I would NEVER let a guy treat me so cruelly, but god I'm just so in love with him, So I just took everything he threw at me, with the slightest amount of pride I has left. So I took a walk when I got home, I went to the park and just sat in the soccer field, and kept yelling at the sky and crying my eyes out.. "I'm not a bad person" "what did I do to deserve this". So I called one of the girlfriends, and we sat in my house and talked about it for a while. She stayed the night with me, to help comfort me.A couple hours later I get a text that from my boyfriend that says, are you mad at me. My girlfriend wouldn't let me answer it. Until he texted it for the third time. I told he what more did he want from me. He told me he made the biggest mistake of him life. He said that he gave up the most important thing in his life, and he only said all of those things because we were fighting, and he wants to know if I will forgive him.I am a very head strong person, and I don't usually let people walk all over me, and so when I heard him say he wanted me back I was so blown away. I told him that I needed time to think, and he said he is so sorry, and I haven't texted him since.I dont have a clue what to do, does he deserve a second chance. He never gave me one when I was begging for him not to leave me. No to mention, he told me a night ago, that he wouldn't ever leave me. He's said that to me for the past year.Can you please help me, I'm so confused, I need to know if he deserves a second chance?I'm afraid that I'f I take him back again, he will just hurt me.Thanks, Meekute
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female
reader, Neanthia +, writes (16 May 2010):
 Ask yourself this: Why did the relationship fall to pieces in the first place?
"He treated me like a piece of meat" that sentence in itself can mean several things. A)never, never, never let a guy you think you're in love with use you! You may want to follow you're heart but it is never good to ignore common sense B)guys at our age: CLUELESS! He may not be ignoring you on purpose, some guys are just clueless.
Now that we've said that ask yourself this: Do you two really love each other?
You: it seems like yes to me but ask yourself just in case
Him: A) yes he loves you and he acted like an idiot, but its not entirely his fault. Love is a two way street, even though it doesn't seem like it sometimes, if you're committed to it, keep walking that street. B)he's indecisive, he doesn't know one way or the other and that has left both of you confused.
My recommendation: A) time. You need time, then maybe call him, give him a smile, see how he reacts, talk for awhile, see if the spark is still there, be wary at first and don't lower your guard. B) if his attitude still sucks and you're not gonna crawl back to them then don't ever look back , you are not a bad person and you may have done nothing to deserve this, but things happen. Life goes on.
You choose.
"Sometimes if you lead with you're heart, you're gonna get hurt.", "Don't outsmart your common sense"
Two of the lines that stuck with me, from two completely different things, one form an 80's TV show and the other from a new song.
Good Luck ;)
A
female
reader, mylassie10 +, writes (16 May 2010):
 WOW this is exactly what I have went through recently. If this is the first time he has broken it off and then regretted it, I wouldn't dismiss him just yet, especially if you love him. He obviously thought about it a lot afterwards and realized what he was about to lose. He was mad in the heat of the argument and said some things he didn't mean. He probably wanted to get back at you because he was hurting and he wanted to hurt you too. You guys need to talk it out and go from there. If the fighting continues and he breaks if off again and comes back, then I wouldnt take him back. Trust me. You would get hurt in the long run. My bf has said so many times that it wasnt going to work and would ignore me for days at a time and then come back to me and i would always take him back. And now I think he really ended it for good over the stupidest reason and broke my heart. I cant even explain the pain that I am in. So don't let it get to that point. But just talk it out and see what happens. You don't want to live with regrets.
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A
female
reader, marnan  +, writes (16 May 2010):
Putting it bluntly MOVE ON, this relationship has run its course. Getting on your hands and knees begging is just not the way for a healthy relationship. If he has put you down to this level then he knows he can treat you worst in the future knowing you will take it. Your girlfriend has seen him for what he is has given you the best advice, so listen to her, delete his number, don't return call and get a life with your friend, then you will get over him quicker.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): I wouldn't give him a second chance. He had a choice, he could have sat down and talked to you about it like an adult or act like a complete idiot. He chose to act like an idiot.
You obviously love him but if you want to take him back, something has to change, you can't go through this kind of upset again. I think you should take time out and decide how you feel about him. Once you know, ask him to meet you for a talk.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 The messages you exchanged were expressed in an emotional time. He could change his mind about mending the relationship. You should give at least 2 week's time to see if you can face him calmly and talk about issues without arguing. There are always two sides of the story. Do you respect his concern that you two could be incompatible? Can you agree on how to spend your time and how much time you should be together? When you say he treats you like a piece of meat, do you mean he's not affectionate enough, not listening to your feelings enough? He can't read your mind. You basically have to ask him to do this do that. I don't think he's walking all over you or treating you cruelly. The issue is not about who dumps who here. It's about how you can improve the ways you relate to each other, communicate your needs, at the same time minimizing conflict.
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