A
female
age
30-35,
*licia2009
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 months now and we jus recently broke up and got back together bc he thought I was cheating on him and I've gave him my email address and password give him my phone everything jus to prove to him that I'm not cheating on him. But he still thinks I'm cheating. I've gave up all my guy friends even my youth group jus to prove to him and nothing I do is ever enough I've never felt this way bout another guy and I want to make it last cuz I do love him he says he loves me and cares for me but then all he does is accuse me of cheating we fight everyday and I'm getting so tired of it but I'm trying very hard to stay in this relationship cuz we have talked bout the future and I want to spend that wit him so plz some1 help me
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (1 September 2009):
 Hi,
no no no no no... fortunately for you , you have not been in an abusive relationship before.
Sorry to say, but this is the first step. He controls your every move.
Good grief, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, does this man make me happy and overjoyed every day, or does he make me stressed anxious uptight?. You know the answer to this.
Men like this have difficulty keeping relationships because its hard to find a woman they can totally control.
He is doing a good job with you so far, but you are writing in here which means he hasnt completely controlled you yet, you still have a chance to get rid of him.
Take this opportunity and give him the chop!
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (31 August 2009):
 So, basically by calling you a cheat he has managed to take total control of your life. You see no one else, you don't do things you like to do, have no privacy. All because he can't trust you.
There are three options. It might be a combination of them.
A: A cheater suspects everyone else is a cheater.
B: He is paranoid and can't trust anyone, ever.
C: He is using it to control you. You have to do what he says, or you are a cheat.
Anyone of them is a reason to start running.
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A
male
reader, Fern822000 +, writes (31 August 2009):
Get out now. I'v seen relationships like this in the past end very bad.
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A
female
reader, Jen,  +, writes (31 August 2009):
 I may know nothing about these topics, but it sounds like it's time to get out of that relationship. You've given up all your male friends, given him your password ect and he still doesn't believe you. Why? Does he have something to hide.
I don't think it's healthy to stay with someone like him. He'll make you stressed and it won't be good.
If he doesn't believe you now, he may not in the future so you might as well leave him.
Good Luck
Jen x
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 August 2009):
 I think your BF have some serious control issues and trust issues, that really doesn't bode well for relationships..
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A
female
reader, jessycat +, writes (31 August 2009):
 sounds like he is guilty .. often when guys accuse their girls of this they are the ones with something to hide..
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A
male
reader, joe26  +, writes (31 August 2009):
 hes so controld freak...if i was you, wouldn't stay in this kinda relationship you know. If you stay longer you will suffer more pain in the future. So, i would suggest cut the tie loose and move on. You deserve so much better sweetie..rmb there are many fishes in the sea.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009): Hey I think this guy is insecure. I also think you have given up more than you should actually have to give up.You're not cheating and he should trust you. Do you really want to be with a guy who believes that at the first oppurtunity you would leave him. You shouldn't be trapped.i think you need to think of what is good for you. You need to bear in mind that if this guy were to break up with you, which he could do then how much of your life would you have given up just to be with him.Its not worth that , and trust me I know that for a fact.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009): He's obviously not listening to/or believing what you are saying, and this could be due to an experience in his past which left him hurt and so doesn't feel like he can trust anyone. However, your relationship is never going to work unless you talk to him and find out why he doesn't trust you, and maybe suggest he gets some kind of professional help for his issue. If he doesn't get help for his insecurities, things will only get worse. You've already said you gave up all your male friends, the password to your email account, and also your phone, and still he doesn't believe you. What more does he want, to have you confined to the house, keep an eye on you 24/7, do everything for you, take you everywhere with him, tell you what you can and can't wear, what you are and aren't entitled to, who you can and can't look at in the street etc? Because if he can't trust you to when your not around him, and he's convincing himself your cheating, he's gonna become jealous, angery and controlling, which is unacceptable, and can lead to domestic violence. Try and get this sorted if you can asap and if he doesn't improve his way's, as much as it may hurt you, you should move on with your life without him. Take care, and good luck.
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