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male
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anonymous
writes: Confused male.I am nearly 20 and recently I have found myself having feelings for my next door neighbour, but she is 15.I don't know what to do about it. Can anyone help? I mean it's only 4 years difference. Does this matter?
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male
reader, digitallysick +, writes (13 February 2006):
 dont just think because she is "16" that your safe, each state has its own age limit, i personally see nothing wrong with it, but they will lock you up and throw away the key
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2006): hey!i have feelings for someone that is about 24 and i am 15, this is only natural that you have feelings for someone, its not like your a pedophile or anything because my 15 year old friend went out with a 19 year old guy, you should talk to her because 4 years isnt much, my mum and dad have 10 years difference! If this girl doesnt feel the same then move on before it becomes dangerous (if you know what i mean!)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2005): Sorry, but I can't agree with a lot of these comments posted here. To me (at the ripe old age of 34 ;) ) you are still a kid at 19 and at 15 she's just a slightly younger one. Still I'm not too old to remember being 19 and madly infatuated with my best mate's little sister (who was 14 at the time). The key thing here is you are legally classed as an adult, she isn't... this doesn't account for the fact that you might still be a pimply 'late developer' whose voice hasn't broken yet and she might be an 'early bloomer' who has been messing around with older boys since she was 12... this is simply the law, and it works on definite things like your chronological age.
You've got two realistic options:
1. Forget about her, move on and find someone else. Young love is really painful, true, but you also get over it quick, trust me.
2. Find out if she likes you too, if she does then try a platonic relationship (kissing, holding hands, going to the movies, eating dinner with her parents etc..), if you REALLY like her and she really likes you then you won't mind waiting a few years before moving on to a more serious full blown adult relationship when she's 18 or older. But, what you must realise is that you really can't have a sexual relationship like that with her just yet, whatever she's really like in the eyes of the law she just isn't adult enough to handle it and it would be both cruel and illegal to encourage her in to it. If you want a sexual relationship (and lets be honest most 19 year old males do) then you need to find someone a few years older than her. Hey, if you are still single in a couple of years time and you stay in contact who knows? Serious relationships between men of 22-23 and girls of 18-19 are perfectly fine and normal :)
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A
reader, kt  +, writes (10 October 2005):
 you cant help who you have feelings for, but in this case i am afraid you will just have to move on. she may be sweet, pretty and nice or whatever but one wrong move against her and she could report you,and i am afraid you wont look good and the odds will be on her side. just try to get on without her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2005): I think that some people do not realize that this is not against the law. It is against the law to have sex with her but only untill she is 16. Does it mean that it is wrong for a boy of 16 to go out with a girl of 15 because he is legaly a consenting adult and she is technicaly a minor. A relationship would be fine as long as you wait until she is 16 before indulging in sex. Sex isn't everything in a relationship. Take time to realy get to know her first.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (9 October 2005):
 Yes, those years matter. In fact, they're a crucial difference between a minor and an adult. If you think back to the boy you were at age 15, and contrast that to the person you are now, you'll get an idea what I'm on about.
A girl of 15 is looking for romance, hand-holding, shy games, maybe kissing. A man of "nearly 20" has progressed beyond that, and is ready for much more serious sexual adventures. That's why relationships with underage girls are seriously frowned on by society. Even though - depending on where you live - she may be 'legal' as young as 15 or 16, she isn't experienced enough to embark on a relationship with a man four years older than her.
You need to get out and meet some other women, women who are closer to your own age. Stay away from pubs, unless you're meeting people in groups. Looks for associations and clubs where people meet, who are interested in the same things as you are. Sporting clubs, or astronomical societies, or sci-fi cons, or model railway enthusiasts, or whatever your own personal interest is. You'll find that women who are "on the same page" as you, in life and in their interests, will soon make you forget a momentary fascination with the neighbour girl.
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A
female
reader, princessgirl1984 +, writes (9 October 2005):
or wait til she's at least 18, so you don't go to jail
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2005): get over her or go to jail
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2005): Are you sick? This girl is a child. Do you want to go to jail for this little girl? You are a grown man that needs to find someone your own age. This is what's wrong with some men. Men become attracted to these young girls because now these girls are becoming more developed in their bodies but you as a man would not want a twenty or a nineteen year old man dating your fifteen year old daughter.
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