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Attempted sex with a new person for the first time in 2 years, and it hurt. Is it menopause or nervousness? Any idea?

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Question - (31 May 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 June 2008)
A female Canada, anonymous writes:

Hope someone can help. I broke up with my boyfriend about two years ago. I have messed aroung with a few guys from time to time since then but have not gone all the way. Well, I tried to go all the way with someone a couple of nights ago and it really hurt. I am in my forties..do not know if menopause had something to do with it or just nerves. I guess I expected bells to ring after a couple of years and was disappointed. Does anyone possibly have any insight into this. Thanks for all reponses.

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A female reader, Miss williamz Åland Islands +, writes (1 June 2008):

Miss williamz agony auntWhat your experiencing is secondary virginity. This is when one stay for along period of time without having sex.its not menopause nor nervousness. This happens because your muscles havent been exercised in a while. So enjoy yourself.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you to both aunts here...eased my mind.XXXX

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (31 May 2008):

Stayc63088 agony auntIt could be nerves but usually when you haven't had sex for long periods of time it is going to hurt again when you do. Maybe even feel like the first time again. It happens to every woman and 2 years is a long while so I am betting that is all it is. It should stop hurting the more you are with this guy or any other guy. Also was he bigger than your ex? That could be it in addition to it being a long time since sexual intercourse. Don't worry, it is perfectly normal. I am sorry the first time with this man wasn't more enjoyable for you but give it time, it will be :) Good luck.

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A female reader, :):):) United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2008):

If you havent had sex in a while then it isnt suprising that it wasnt comfortable.

It could just be you werent fully aroused and needed more time on foreplay. It may also be, as you say, being nervous as this will tense your body up.

Vaginal dryness is a characteristic of the menopause but if you havent had any other symptoms then its probably down to nerves.

It will get easier with practice!

xxx

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