A
female
age
,
*imbers
writes: I have been married 7 years, my husband is 11 years younger than me, he suddenly is rejecting me and talks secretly to his ex wife, the mother of his 2 kids. His sister is best friends with his ex and always wanted them back together, and she hates me. I caught him calling her in the morning on his cell phone the minute he leaves for work. I gave him a choice me or her he says he is doing nothing wrong talking to her and he will not stop that he will do whatever he wants when he wants. His 14 yr. old daughter just told me that he told his ex that he was going to divorce me and that he's unhappily married, she too, is unhappily married to her new husband. I still love him and I have been brought up that divorce is a sin. He insisits that hes not having an affair, but I dont believe him I just think that he's waiting for the right opportunity to leave me, because we own property together. Any advice?[Added] My husband has a no give personality, he sneaks and whines about our marriage problems to his ex wife and his older sister who is his ex wifes best friend and has always wanted them two back together. I think that this is disrespectful and wrong in a marriage. I feel that if he wants to talk to his ex about the kids he should use the home phone and not sneak the minute he leaves for work on the cell phone. His daughter even told me that he told them he wanted a divorce. This is our personal problem, I think he's opening a window to her to let her know that he's soon available. He tells me he'll do what he wants when he wants and that as a wife I have no say because he will not be controlled and that I am too insecure, but I feel that he makes my insecurities. Help!
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female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (31 May 2008):
 This is so hard, because you still love him. He will probably do what he's doing no matter what kind of advice we give you and you take. At this stage in your marriage/possible split, the only thing there is to do is comminicate. Create a comfertable enviornment to discuss your feelings, assumptions and options to him. Don't do it in the heat of an argument or with any negative energy behind it, he will use it to carry on hurting you guilt free. Do it when the energy is good, start off the discussion with something along the lines of "I love you and I have to tell you, I've noticed a major change in our marriage. You seem a little unhappy, and because I love you, I think it's important you open up to me so we are not wasting any time with akward feelings." It's important you don't lose your cool, men FEAR an angry wife, and with fear comes dishonesty, deseption, and hidden lifestyles. Good luck wishing you all the best.
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