A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in an LDR for two years. I have met my boyfriend this past year. He treated me so adoringly I began to feel very nervous. It was almost like I was watching him fall in love with me.We have never said I love you to each other, but compliment each other a lot.I like him, but Im not sure I love him. Im not even sure Im capable of properly loving someone. I feel like I am too immature for such a selfless emotion. I am also worried about loving him, because the distance between us already hurts me so much. I feel worried and cautious.He does not often show his emotions to me, so I know this he must really mean this.Are my feelings normal? Advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2011): Hi, I would definitely say that what you are feeling is normal. The very first guy I said I love you to did not say it back, and that hurt more than anything. That was a lesson I learned at a young age.
My advice is don't say something because you feel that you have to, say it because it is coming from your heart. Two years is a long time, some people show their love as opposed to saying it. Everyone is different. I wish you nothing but the best and hope everything works out for you. Take care.
A
male
reader, aebniala  +, writes (31 August 2011):
It is normal for an apple to be round, a street to be flat, a boat to float, water to be liquid at certain temperature. Unless you are a thing, i would not use normal. Normal is a mathematical equation.I see myself as human and not normal, because i am not a thing. So that is done with that.I personnally, dont say (i love you )but show my love. I love you are words ,like NORMAL. But when i show you love, it is concrete, you have no doubt, i have just showed you it.Its right in front of you,doing something out of love.What's the fuss, i could be telling you, that ,i love you, and ^f^c^ your best friend. What does it take you to understand.It's not not NORMAL blablalba.. You get my drift....Liking him is a good start, time will tell. as for loving you are QUITE capable of properly loving someone.I gUess you love yourself to start with, your friend, famIly. They are different shade of loving.you are not a robot!!! You are here on earth to learn, you are young. Give yourself the oppOrtunIty to.I am a truck driver and my work is sometimeS demanding.But i am feeding the world, its a big job. The wife as the chance to,come with me, sometime and find my job tiring. I do it out of love.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 August 2011):
 Normal and normal, you ask me. People are different, nothing when it comes to feelings besides the extremes is not normal. Lets try to not label anything as normal or not. The situation is that no, you do not love him. When you love someone you know you love them, and the feeling is so strong you want to climb up a tree and shout it out so the whole world will hear it. You don't feel quite like doing that? No need to worry, nothing is wrong with you, but you do not love him. My question then is, why are you in this relationship? Does it make you happy? LDR are... unfulfilling from my experience. Have you at least ever met him in real life or is this an online relationship? If he's never said he loves you either then most likely he doesn't. When it comes to relationships, some move slower than others. It could take 1 month to 1 year before someone says they love each other. It depends on how well you know yourself, if you're brave enough to tell the other, and how scared you are of getting attached (trying to hold back).Could be you will love him later on, but it'd be a different kind of love then. It'd be a love like the love people in arrange marriages feel. It's love, sure enough, but it's not as intense as the love of two people who fall for each other and isn't forced to love each other, but do so out of their hearts. You and your boyfriend will not experience this love of hearts, because after 2 years you haven't felt it. I think you are with him out of convenience. There are many couples though who end up together not because they are in love, but because they want a partner, and enjoy being with someone. Feelings come later, feelings such as care, devotion, nurturing. Some times they fall in love after some months, and some times there can be real love after another few months, maybe up to a year. But some don't fall for each other. We as humans naturally attach to the ones we are close to, but you can't force your heart to feel what isn't there. It's "normal" in this respect to not love someone you do not have that chemistry with. You gave it a try, and it didn't happen. Is it enough for you?
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