A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey. I'm 17 and in high school and I've been dating a guy in college for about a 2 months. His school is kind of far away so we aren't exclusive so he's not (officially) my boyfriend, but neither of us are seeing other people. I'm planning on going to school with him in the fall, so we've been talking about getting serious. Since the topic of getting serious with each other has come up, I was wondering when you guys thought the best time to tell him that I am a virgin and am waiting until marriage to have sex. I've asked some of my friends and some said that I should tell him soon so he knows what he's getting into and others say I shouldn't worry about it and cross that bridge when it comes.What do you guys think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): I would hope, because you are in high school, that he just assumes you are a virgin. Anyway, tell him ASAP if you don't plan on having sex before marriage. That's a big deal he needs to know. and if he wants to have sex, but respects your beliefs and ends your relationship its not because he is a jerk. It's because he has different beliefs and to most guys the difference between a girlfriend and a friend is sex.
A
female
reader, BiebersShawty15  +, writes (17 January 2011):
 Heeey (:
kaay im younger then yu & stil a virgin but i think that yu should tell him sooner because he should know that yu arent having sex til yur married . and if he doesnt want that then its his lose not yurs kaay
From Shelly :)
xx
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A
male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (17 January 2011):
 I think there's no reason telling him now, it's too soon, you are not even officially boyfriend-girlfriend. Let the relationship unfold for a few months and enjoy it without worries. When the topic comes up then tell him. But be prepared: he might leave or he might really appreciates that he is with a girl that sticks to her values and beliefs. If he leaves, let him go. If he stays then he is ready to build a relationship on strong foundations. I undestand the sexual need but give it time, don't pressure things. My girlfriend was like you too. When she said it to me I said "ok, no problem". She gave in eventually, but i didn't put any pressure. Stick to your values! Do what you feel it's right, no matter what the cost is. Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (17 January 2011):
 hi
yes i think this needs talking about sooner rather than later. if you get very involved with each other and then you tell him he may feel disapointed that he thought he was going to have sex with you but then it turns out that he's not because you are waiting until marriage. he may try to convince you otherwise and if you have fallen in love with him already you may decide to compromise your strong beliefs, which you could then later regret! when you start dating properly, he will probably ask you, or maybe try to do sexual stuff with you, so then you can tell him. might be a good idea for you to ask him what his thoughts are, is he a virgin? whatever happens, don't leave it too long before you talk about this and i think that as you have been sort of his girlfriend for the last 2 months already its ok to say it now
xx
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A
male
reader, Trumpet geek +, writes (17 January 2011):
 If I was you I would tell him now, and if he respects your beliefs he will wait, but if he's the kind of jerk that wants when he wants it and not care about what you want or what your beliefs are and in this case waiting until marriage to have sexual relations then maybe he's not the one for you, and if he's not just tell yourself your a young women and have your whole life ahead of you to find Mr.Right and not Mr.Right now, hopefully this helps coming from someone you age
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