A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, I guess i don't know exactly how to explain how i feel in any other phrase but low, incredibley low. The guy i was interested in, screwed me over and thanks to all my attention being for him i messed up my a levels real bad an have only just scraped myself back into college. I feel low, im a fashion concious teenager with no job i feel peer pressure to fit in and i can't afford the overly priced makeup and clothes, all the while my friends are trying to help but their lives seem so perfect i just dont want to know, they have boyfriends and jobs and are gliding through college, i know they said life isnt easy but nobody told me it was quite this hard, ive been stuck in a depressed mode for a while now, my only escape is when we go on vacation. It was the guy that hurt me the worst, i've never had a boyfriend properly because either no one i like has been interested or i get crushed by the bad ones. Although i feel males easy to get along with because girls are far too cruel these days. This leads me to a full circle, how can i escape this?
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (27 August 2011):
 When you blame and whallow you miss the lesson. Focus your attention on what it was you were supposed to learn from all this. I once went out with a verbally abusive guy and after we broke up I was very low then I realised he had taught me some valuable things like what to avoid in a man, what qualities to look for for me and more.
As for the clothes thing. Don't slavishly follow the fashion just to fit in, be confident enough to develop your own style and wear it with confidence and people will think you look great. Second hand stores are gold mines for putting stylish outfits together at low costs.
Put your bad grades in the past and be happy that you made it into college. Focus on your current studies and do the best you can do.
Happiness and confidence are a state of mind and if you fake it until you make it you will find it wont take very long.
All the best you will be ok. Remember to focus on the lesson and trust me there's always a lesson in every situation.
A
male
reader, walshie93 +, writes (27 August 2011):
 I have just finished college, and finished my A-levels as well. I can sympathise with you to a certain extent. Back in January I was down and out, my girlfriend had dumped me and I had done everything humanely possible to get her back-at the expense of revision and preparation for exams.First of all, let's do a quick thinking exercise.In ten years, what job do you want to be in? Answer that for yourself.And for that job, what do you need, what qualifications, what experience?For example, I'd say, I want to be a doctor, so I need a medical degree obviously, but for that medical degree, I need exam results, and those results need to be from chemistry and biology and physics. And the only way to get those is to work.Right now, you are putting too much time into males. Just stop, forget it. Look at it this way.People come and go, it sounds stupid, but I thought my girlfriend was the best thing in the world and several agony aunts on here can testify to this. I knuckled down and worked hard, I occupied my time with hobbies.Here is what I suggest.Forget about this boy. Yes, you are hurting, its natural. If you didn't feel pain, you wouldn't be a human being. Now realise this. If you keep chasing this boy and wanting what your friends have, you won't have a life. All you need at this point is Education and Family. Talk to your mother or your father, talk to us on here for help and advice, everyone will give it.You may feel low but believe me, there's people far worse off. In the world there are over 6 billion people. Now imagine right now, how many of them are going through break ups, how many are feeling down, how many feel exactly like you. A lot, a hell of a lot. Its not just you alone, everyone feels what you feel at some point in life.It will pass.So to your college education. You can resit exams, what you want to donow is looking at what you want to do at university if you are going. You need to look at what they want, what grades and then look at what you have so far. Re-sit the exams you think you can improve on. If you got an E and you could get a C, resit. If you got a C and you might be able to get a B, do it, but only if you know you can!Download a song off the internet called 'everybody is free to wear sunscreen' the lyrics are nothing but truth and its advice I carry with me in life today.Remember that you shape your future, not your friends. If you follow a trend or a crowd you make yourself less attractive to others.Be yourself, it sounds corny but its not. Forget about make up and top clothing. Buy what makes you happy not what others say to wear. Do what makes you happy. Listen to your favourite music loud, shout and sing to it if you want to! Read books, watch films you haven't seen. Join a gym, start swimming, start jogging, make yourself active.By becoming more active, you feel healthier and happier and you take your mind off your troubles. I know this is a lot to take in and I've tried to get out what was in my head, just remember, pieces move and make pictures fall apart, what we do is take them and go back to the start okay?You need to realise that you don't need a boy in your life now, you need your education and family ans that is all for now. Set out a plan.Get your grades better, get to university, then you can make NEW friends and meet NEW people, all who won't judge you and just take you for who you are.If you need anymore advice or help on how you feel then feel free to PM me, and I'll reply as well as I can.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2011): Try not to worry, although I know you will. So far since leaving college I got a my dream job in London, then my job was cut, was then unemployed for 12 months, then got a job, then finished that job after 9 months and have only recently after 9 months got a new job. I've been looking for a relationship far longer than that but I'm still looking. I get angry sometimes but I know that deep down I will find someone but I refuse to lower my standards. Your focus must now be on achieving good college results that give you the opportunity to choose between University or a job. Education will offer you the chance to have a easier life style in the future where your more serious relationships will take place.
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