A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:So I had met this guy a few times, and thought he was cute, so I asked my girlfriend about him and she said he was great, that they were just friends and so she gave him my number. So we get together, and right away, I could tell we are really hitting it off. We started spending more and more time together, doing every thing together...we talked and talked about everything under the sun and we were having so much fun ...and i believe it was the best sex I have ever known. I had fallen head over heals in crazy mad love with this guy, and he said he felt the same way too. I can't remember ever feeling happier. We continued on like this for probably 7 or 8 months... neither one of us feeling the need to define, rush or do anything different than what we were doing ...just enjoying each other without expectations...and kind of just rolling with it. THEN ONE DAY OUT OF NO WHERE HE JUST STOPS TALKING TO ME. He is acting like we had a fight but we never did...then he will not answer my calls, or return a text...I was freaking out. I find out later, that my so called friend who set us up, WAS JEALOUS...so she went behind my back and told my guy horrible things about me. she told him things I had supposedly said that weren't true, and told him I was just playing him and how I really felt which was all lies. But she used bits and parts of other things in a way that made it seem believable, and she convinced my guy that I was making a fool of him and that he needed to end it right away ...people are laughing at you she told him. I will make it better and would never treat you that way....Bitch! but at the time, I couldn't understand why he stopped talking to me so abruptly I was devastated, crying all the time, hurt, confused, and I missed him so much...that I was starting to look like some kind of stalker. I kept calling and trying to just get him to talk to me. It became obvious that it didn't matter what I did - it was in fact over between us. but he wasn't with my jealous "friend" either . her plan backfired. OK so fast forward a little...I'm accepting it - moving on with my life when out of the blue he calls. He was in another relationship with a girl I knew (not the one who sabotaged me) but it was not a good thing...not healthy, he wasn't happy...and he said he missed me. so naturally I go running over there..we fall into each others arms and everything's great...but I want answers. he explains what happened and how and why he believed it all...and in the end, we are both crying about it and it was really quite a moment. so I think we are gonna get back together...but we don't. he goes back to this other girl - this psycho possessive controlling jealous manipulative freak ....and he keeps going back to her and I cant stand it. He acts like he's afraid of her or something. I don't understand how we can be so great together...he tells me he loves me - he acts like he loves me - he is awesome...and as soon as I leave = she is right back there and flipping out because he spent time with me. I know he is intimate with her too - he will tell me the truth but I don't want to hear it. Then she just parks her ass. They're saying she is sick or has a migraine, or has nowhere to go, or her asthma, anxiety attic, no car, blah blah blAh... and on and on with her ridiculous antics to keep him right there 24/7. I WANT HIM BACK SO BAD i CANT STAND THIS. I am not willing to share this man with her, I seriously love him...but I SO don't want to give the ultimatum.... I don't ...I'm afraid he will stay with her and not me. I don't want him out of my life again but this cant continue. I cant make him see her for what she is...and isn't! He won't dump her dammit...she is like some bad disease and it doesn't matter what- she just keeps coming back. BUT Here is the kicker...my so called jealous "friend" who set us up originally...decided she wanted him too...and when that didn't work...she sabotaged me again..... and well these she and his more recent Gf a whole scheme to break us up.BACKSTABBING ME.... but my guy doesn't believe the girl he is with had anything to do with it. OH MY GOSH I WANT TO SCREAM ! what can i do anybody...PLEASE help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate the words of wisdom...I can't help but recognize that all the comments are virtually the same...and I know that everyone is giving me the right advice. I honestly do know that everyone else can't be wrong in telling me to move on. I am starting to actually see this guy in a different light, and I am losing respect for him fast. Lately, every time I see him and the topic of the other girl comes up...he has some wild story he tells me about their latest fight, and OF course their breakup- I guess in an effort to convince me that this time it is really over. Maybe he really means it when he is saying it to me, but it really doesn't matter to me anymore, because in a few days she always is back. So either he wants her to come back and the bullshit he is feeding me is just that....AND THE 2 OF THEM ARE BOTH REALLY F-ED UP PEOPLE, or he is a spineless jellyfish, wimpy, wannabe type of man(suddenly sounding very unattractive)...and REALLY, How CAN I RESPECT EITHER? The bottom line is I obviously can't. I realize it's going to take time to not feel so miserable again, but I was doing fine and am pissed for letting him back in. Here I go again crying my eyes out I hate this SO MUCH... but I cant even respect myself if I allow things to continue this way...regardless of his reasons. I guess I need to change my phone number AS WELL because everyday I don't see or talk to him,I get some type of message telling me how much he loves and misses me.and then I end up hating myself for being so eager and happy to get a message from him. JERK! What a mind screw this all is. I'm starting to wish I never met him.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 August 2011):
 You've already got two great responses to your query... so anything that I might add would be strictly superfluous....
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): You should just move on from this guy. You're right he doesn't have a backbone but you can't do anything to make him grow one.he's emotionally unstable and has no integrity. why do you want him??you might want to change your 'friends' too since they're not much of friends.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (27 August 2011):
 I think you should just move on from this guy. He obviously is too gullible if he's going to let someone fool him out of a great relationship of 8 months. And the fact that he's still with the possesive girl when he knows that you were innocent should tell you that he's not worth it. If he really wanted you, he would've been with you no later than the next day after he heard the truth instead of staying in a controlling relationship. And did he tell you she was possessive and jealous or have you assumed it since he's still with her? Because if she's not, then he wants to have his cake and eat it too. But you're wasting your time with this guy. Find someone better who won't believe others over you.
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