A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Ive been with my boyfriend for a year. We recently had a one week break as we were arguing a lot. We are now back together but I feel Im treading on egg shells and cant be myself. He hasnt said he loves me and I said I was worried things arent right between us as he seems less affectionate and distracted. He's not sleeping well and has a big project at work and recently moved house. He said I should know him well enough that hes not using me and isnt that type of person but theres no reassurance either. He had a difficult childhood and loveless marriage for 15 and says he has moved on but everything seems flat and empty. I cant get close to him as Im anxious about him finishing with me. It feels so broken but I dont want it to be.....We dont live together but live near and see each other every week end and twice during the week.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 December 2013):
Anytime a couple takes a formal "break" it's almost always the beginning of the end.
if you are NOW back together for a week you need to treat it like a brand new relationship.. that means NO SEX and no doing his cleaning, cooking or laundry....
then you'll figure out if he's using you or not.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2013): Because he hasn't said he loves me since before we broke up I asked if he's using me. His reply was of course not and that I should know him better than that... I don't know what's right and wrong here as should I give him time or not? We have been back tigether for a week.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 December 2013):
Did he actually SAY that "... he's not using you (me)?"
'Cuz, if'n he DID (say that) then you can be pretty sure that he IS "using you..."
All the rest of your excuses about why he's acting boorish.... "He's not sleeping well and has a big project at work and recently moved house." is just so much your attempt to justify why he's behaving as he is.... This is a pretty transparent situation... but YOU have to look through the glass to see it....
Good luck....
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