A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I just dont know how to make some real friends. I was brought up in children's homes so have no family as such I was divorced years ago and have had a few boyfriends since but one way and another all folded up. I have tried working in charity shops and got on ok with the people-but some said look we're NOT your friends (they weren't being nasty) we're your COLLEAGUES- I have had that said to me before in work places so I must unknowingly be trying too hard etc- I do belong to a club where have the same interests (poetry) and get on ok but they all have their own lives and families and once again not really my friends!!I wish I knew what to do I get very lonely and any men I meet only want younger women these days so arent interested in me- I Know some men dont mind older women but lets be honest there is a queue for them!!!!!I wish I was part of a family where I could go at christmas etcI am willing to put in efforts but it seems everyone already has their own set of friends!!!! I am past working age!!Any suggestions? Thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your kind suggestions I will certainly try some out!!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 September 2012):
 After my Mom died 2 years ago, but Dad kind of discovered how lonely he was. (My mom held the family together, no doubt). He was kind of clingy with me and my brother (which was OK, he is my Dad after all, but we also wanted him to live his life, not "live" it through us). Anyhow he signed up for some classes and he joined a 60+ travel club.
He is a very outgoing person and it didn't take him long to make some friends, he is leaving next week on a 3 week tour of Spain with a bunch of people, some are "new" friends and some strangers and I'm happy for him.
He had a lot of fun in a pottery class ( my Dad is a neat freak so that cracked me up, but hey like he said, you only live one..)
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male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (2 September 2012):
 I wish you lived in Australia. You could be my friend. I have a few friends that go back a long way and I have a close family.It is wonderful and i would like to take under my wing someone like you who needs that support group.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2012): It happens often when people divorce one of the couple finds him/ herself isolated. I m not divorced, but we moved a lot, only for the past 12 years we live in the same place , same house, and I m in my late 40 s. I managed to make few friends when I came to this new town 12 years ago, but tell you the truth only 2 of them stayed my good friends out of quite a bit of people that we met.My child is grown up and she lives across the country. We manage to see her 4 times a year for holidays. When she left I was close to some serious depression. My 2 girlfriends as you said, had their families, small children. We were always invited to birthday parties, but still with all the time on my hands I thought. I was going to go mad.I needed more interaction with people. I also didn't work at that time, as I was stay at home mom for many years.I went on line and signed up with several meet ups. If you type in, meetup.com and then search in various topics you ll see how many they have.I ended up learning how to kayak, making raw foods(became so good at it, that started to teach classes and sell for a few years, started belly dance, still do it, did several concerts, learned Italian language and started learning spanish, traveled the world.I m still continuing my hobbies, I still kayak, learn languages, and dance. I ve met quite a bit of people everywhere I went, and understood that I m not the only one that feels that way. I ve met so many beatifull women who are lonely, and men also. I ve met so many people that have absolutely no family around, like me, it's just me and my husband. We are surrounded by people but to find that special person that becomes your friend is not an easy task. I can't say that I made friends with people that I Hang out with now, but at least I have an aqaintanances that I sometimes see and really enjoy my time wih them.Sometimes we go out with my bellydancers girls, sometimes I meet up with my Italian friends. We are still good friends with the 2 families, there were more kids were born after my daughter left, so now we keep on going to kids birthday parties:). Lots of things changed for me and my husband, we opened a business, and I m at work few days a week.To make friends is not an easy task, but try to become part of a big group, like these meet ups that I mentioned. At least you will have exposure to people with the same interests or the same situation as you are in. Good luck!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2012): I am in my 50s and don't have a single friend. Like you I have a few work acquaintances that I will email a little bit but we never hang out together.Do you have any hobbies at all? Many times there are groups to meet for book club or hobbies to meet in person.I tried to make friends with one of my husband's distant relatives who seemed receptive but it turned sour quickly as she wanted to drink and party and lay around with men and I am not into that at my age. Then she started trying to boss me around and gossip about me behind my back so I just stopped speaking to her.
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female
reader, loops +, writes (2 September 2012):
Hi Im only 25 but i completely feel for you in this regard.
Ive always struggled making friends,and still do to some extent, I imagine how ever in your case the charity work you did, and the reception you got from them probably isnt helping you.
Sometimes i think with myself i put a bit of a barrier up and dont put myself out there in order to prevent me being rejected further. I often dont start the process, and wait for people to offer, thinking im infringing, when ive figured out a lot of people do the same back and no one ever bothers with each other, even the people you think have loads of people around them often dont.
My suggestion is do something brave, once a week, and ask someone for coffee after your class, or try something new and go in with your head held high, you will feel better, and your positivity will attract people. It has worked for me, slowly some of my work collegues have turned into friends, and ive tried to slowly expand my horizions. I hope this helps a little :)
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